Parenting Perspective
Talking with a parent of one of my students recently when he says, “I know my kids aren’t going to be pro players but I just want to keep them out of trouble.” That is true for 99% of young athletes – they are not going to be pro athletes – but there are so many great things that youth sports can provide kids  - camaraderie, teamwork, sportsmanship, work ethic – just to name a very few things. And maybe most important – playing sports can occupy kids time, which is no small matter in this day and age. So many other influences can occur when kids have too much time on their hands. 

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Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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How to help a youth sports coach?
Maybe the biggest complaint in youth sports is, “The coach stinks.” Maybe the complaint has merit, maybe not. If parents believe that is the truth, they should do something about it. After all, what is more important? Having your child go through a miserable season or doing something to help the situation. Talking to the coach probably will not make the situation better. So, a self serving suggestion I know, but, what about buying a book like “Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport” and give it to the coach. If you feel uncomfortable giving it to the coach, do it anonymously. A book like this will help any youth sports coach to learn to treat kids better and inspire the coach to learn the particular sport better too.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

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Developing sel-esteem in youth is crucial to there development and sports is a great medium to be able to do this. Good coaches know how to do this by using the following actions:
1. Good coaches recognize the different personalities of each player and encourage each player to be themselves – trying to get players to be like someone else or to act differently is not usually good. Though, this is not to mean that coaches should not encourage all players to give as close to %100 as possible.
2. Good coaches look for ways those players can use their personal gifts to help the team beyond just the playing aspect. For example, players who have a good sense of humor should be encouraged to use that trait to keep the team (and coaches) loose.
3. Good coaches mention positive contributions to player’s parents when possible. Nothing encourages a kid more than feeling like they have made their parents proud.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Building Self- Esteem in Youth – Positive Coaching

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Game Changer

I read about a new device that parents may be interested in at Lisa Winston’s great blog site. Check this device out – seems too good to be true for baseball parents
 http://gotmilb.mlblogs.com/archives/2010/01/gamechanger_where_were_you_whe.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Game Changer for Parents

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1. Positive Parenting Podcast with Jack Perconte Had a great time talking sports with Joe Magennis –...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
4. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
5. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...

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Preparing to Aim Straight

Now is a good time to think about your kid’s sports schedules for next season so that your young athlete is prepared for each sport they may play. It is especially good to be aware of any sport that may require a tryout, especially as kids get ready for high school and travel team tryouts. Tryouts have a tendency to be done over a short period maybe for as little as a one day tryout. It is very difficult for an athlete to go out “cold turkey” (without a few weeks of practice) and make a competitive team. The exception of course is the ahtlete who has already established a name for themself in that sport or one who is a family friend of the coach. It is additionally important to be physically ready for the particular sport to avoid an early season injury at the tryout. For example, a baseball player whose arem is not in shape will be expected to show his stuff at the tryout and can easily hurt their arm at a tryout.
    Parents should find out try out dates and sport start dates early so they can have their kids prepared and injury free. Otherwise, you may be surprised when your child walks in and says they have a tryout the next day. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Preparing for Next Season

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Parenitng Advice

Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html

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Where the Wild Things Are In Sports

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2. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
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4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
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Youth Sports Coaching

Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

“Star Treatment”

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1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...
4. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
5. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...

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Sports Coaching

There are a number of considerations adults should take into account before volunteering to coach youth sports. Youth sports coaching is not as easy as it may appear because there is the responsibility of helping youth and at the same time keeping parents happy at the same time. With this in mind, adults should keep the following in mind before taking on the sports coaching task.
1. Knowledge of the sport is important, obviously. Coaches should have enough knowledge of the skills and strategy of the game to be able to help players of that age and enough knowledge to justify their decisions to inquisitive parents. With this in mind coaches should continue to learn more about the skills and strategy as the season approaches and as the season progressses.
2. Enthusiasm for the sport is important. Just having the knowledge is not enough if soem passion for the sport is not there. Enthusiasm is contagious and will rub off on the team, which is the goal. For example, many adults volunteer to coach only so there child can play on a particular team when they really don’t have a passion for that sport.
3. A desire to help every child on the team is important. Some youth sports coaches help only the better players and neglect others. Of course, some kids are not very coachable and coaches should not be expected to spend excess time with these type players at this level of play.
4. Fairness and honesty are crucial. As mentioned, coaches being able to deal with parents is crucial to an enjoyable season for all. This is most possible when coaches are fair with their decisions with regards to positions played, time of play and discipline. Additionally, coaches who are honest about their own strengths and weaknesses with players and coaches will have an easier time. Pretending to know everything about the sport, coaching and game strategy is a big mistake of many youth coaches.
5. Communication is always a key. Keeping players and parents abreast of important decisions is important. Coaches should not have to justify every move but should inform players and parents when big changes are being made or when they appear very upset with decisions.

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Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer

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Sports Coaching Tips

Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout sports. Burnout occurs when playing the game just stops being fun anymore. The causes of burnout generally occur in three ways – over-playing, over-sporting and over-expecting. Kids are often heading for burnout when one or more of these situations occur: 1. When they play one particular sport too often or too long in a year
2. When they get to playing too many sports at the same time
3. When their own or others’ expectations of their performance becomes over-bearing
Parents and players should do their best to avoid any of these three situations from occurring.

Additionally, parents can go a long way towards keeping the fun in the game for young athletes with these three things:
1. Attention – Showing support and enthusiasm for their kids’ efforts is priceless.
2. Approval – Recognizing improvement is inspiration to youth
3. Knowledge - Providing the “know how” builds confidence.
Much more about recognizing and dealing with burnout can be found in Jack’s book Raising an Athlete - How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice

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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching

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Sports Coaching Tips

Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the end of the alphabet. Not a lot of inspiring words or words pertaining to sports beginning with X,Y or Z so I am improvising a little. Y is for “Youth” sports and that is the point – it should be all about our youth. Parents and coaches should not become the story. Good coaches and parents are there to organize, teach the games and life lesson to help kids mature but they should not get in the way of letting kids play, make mistakes and have fun. In my book Raising an Athlete I discuss how often parents ruin sports for kids, but that doesn’t need to be the case if people use patience, perspective and understanding when dealing with youth in sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y

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Sports Coaching

Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little on this one but I want to keep the streak going. Everyone knows how important it is for coaches and parents to lead by example.  Just as important, especially as players reach the high school level, is that players learn to also lead by example. Not all players can lead by example but the best case scenario for a team and coach is when the better players on a team show the best hustle, a good work ethic and a desire to help the team. When the better players have this “team” attitude and selfless attitude, this example spurs all team members to follow their lead. Good coaches will look for players who have this ability to lead by example and will encourage them to continue and recognize these players at the appropriate time. Players who lead by example are respected by their teammates and are a credit to their school, team and city.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X

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Coaching Youth Sports

Trust -

The obvious word that comes to the sports mind with the letter T is Talent. Talent is a combination of God-given athleticism and some develped skills and generally manifests itself at a young age in kids. The word that I want to talk about is trust because this is an extrememly important concept when parents and coaches work with athletes. Trust is something that people earn over time and is vital in keeping a good coach/student relationship. It is especially difficult to work with one’s own child and developing extreme patience is necessary. Following are some things to additionally consider in developing an athletes trust in you, the coach.

* Study up or be quiet – kids generally can recognize when someone does not know what they are talking about. This recognition is easy for kids when their coach tells them to to something one way and their parent tells them something different. Have the evidence on your side by doing some reseach if needed and don’t demonstrate something if you are not very good at it. It is hard to trust someone that looks awkward doing it themselves.

* Give kids a little time to fail before correcting them. When someone expects perfection too soon they will get defensive and may want to quit practicing.

* Say a positive before a negative – “I liked the way you did that, next time try this also,” for example.

*Address the action as much as possible – that swing, throw catch,kick – instead of “you” did this wrong.

* The tenor of the voice used is the key – saying things in an informative, non-emotional voice will go along way to gain trust as opposed to a “listen to me or else” voice. If you notice your son or daughter gets upset when you tell them how to do something then you are probably saying things in an accusing voice.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T

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Coaching Youth Sports

Quit - An obvious word when it comes to the letter Q is the word quit.  One of the great things about youth sports coaching and life lessons that parents and coaches can teach youth is the idea that one should never give up in competition and in their pursuit of their goals. This obviously good advice but unfortunately reality gets in the way, especially when it comes to quitting a sport. The time comes for all athletes to have to decide whether it is time to stop playing. I always tell athletes that the decision to stop playing should be their decision and not their parents or their coaches. It is good to get their parents and coaches advice but ultimately the decision should be the players. The key ingredient to give up playing or not is the fun factor. If an athlete still enjoys playing, they should look for any and all opportunities to keep playing. This may mean finding a different team, league, level – usually an alternative is available. A never quit attitude on and off the field is a key to athletic success and an admired trait in sports to develop. A never giv up attitude will lead to few regrets later in life and to success in many fields of pursuit.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Q

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Sports Coaching Tips

Patience & Perspective
Now we are talking – there are numerous great concepts when it comes to the letter P pertaining to sports – perspective, pressure, parenting, practice, patience, poisitive, just to name a few.  Over the weeks I will speak of these. The two most important ones, patience and perspective go hand in hand. Every adult believes in and practices these two concepts when it comes to youth sports – except when their own child or team is involved. Suddenly, even the most rational and positive of parents get caught up in the moment and lose perspective and patience. Most parents have been there because when you care for someone so much it is easy to lose perspective and patience, usually with coaches or your son or daughter. A few of things to remember when it comes to patience and perspctive:
1. No one can make their child a star player, only the child themself can do that.
2. Performing sports skills correctly takes a lot of practice and talent (genetic make-up).
3. It is the child’s time to play – don’t relive your playing days through your kids.
4.  It is not always the child star who ends up playing into and beyond high school, it is the player who continues to improve and enjoys playing the game.
5. Sports are never as easy as they seem when watching on TV

   In my books Raising an Athlete and The Making of a Hitter I go into great detail on how to keep the games in perspective and how to develop patience when working with your kids. Nowhere is patience more important than dealing with a difficult skill like baseball hitting.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P

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3. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
4. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
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