Keeping Sports in Perspective

“How you do and who you are, are two different things,” is another one of the lines I often say to my kids and students. When parents and coaches put so much stock in their kids sports performance kids may begin to feel like their identity is defined only by the sport. Judging a players effort is the key and not their results along with being able to “let bad games go” so kids don’t dwell on rough games too long.

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Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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Sports Coaching Patience
It does not take a genius to realize that coaches must display patience when coaching youth athletes. Having patience is often easier said than done though, especially when you are patient and explain clearly what the youth athlete needs to do to be successful. However, coaches and sport parents should understand the following about sports skills: 1. Doing them correctly are not that easy and takes years to perfect, if ever 2. All youth athletes have limitations, physical and sometime mental, to what they can do. Adults should not expect things that athletes are not physically and or mentally capable of at their particular age.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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3 Things My Sports Coaching Experiences Have Taught Me
It astounds me when parents bring their kids into see me and say “It’s all in their head,” as to why they are not performing well. I have found this is rarely the case.
1. Every day a player spends reinforcing bad habits, makes it that much more difficult to change to good habits. 2. Learning and practicing the correct fundamentals as soon as possible will pay off, if not immediately, then definitely with the increased level of fundamentals at the start of the following season. 3. The money parents spend to help improve a players fundamentals is usually well worth it, as long as it is spent with a well respected, knowledgeable coach.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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How to help a youth sports coach?
Maybe the biggest complaint in youth sports is, “The coach stinks.” Maybe the complaint has merit, maybe not. If parents believe that is the truth, they should do something about it. After all, what is more important? Having your child go through a miserable season or doing something to help the situation. Talking to the coach probably will not make the situation better. So, a self serving suggestion I know, but, what about buying a book like “Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport” and give it to the coach. If you feel uncomfortable giving it to the coach, do it anonymously. A book like this will help any youth sports coach to learn to treat kids better and inspire the coach to learn the particular sport better too.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

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Many parents don’t realize that they are exerting excessive parental pressure on their sports playing kids. If parents notice the following happening often they should learn to back off some. 1. When analyzing their child’s play to others the young player always disagrees with the analysis. 2. When a child is playing or practicing, they are constantly looking to their parent for approval and/or for instruction. Parents should allow and insist that their kid pays attention to their coach during practice and games.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

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Having taught youth for a great number of years, I have encountered a great number of skill levels in kids. A few of my students have gone on to play major league baseball and many were cut from their team. No matter their skill level, there is one sentiment that I try to leave with them – “I believe in you and I will be pulling for you.” That is one of the most important things that adults, and mainly parents, should say to their kids when they go out to play sports. Is it giving false optimism? No, because that doesn’t change my wanting to let them know that, win or lose, you are on their side. When they don’t play well – it is easy to follow up with, “Hey, it wasn’t your day” or “I know you will get them the next time” or ”Hang in there, you did your best.” This intimates to them that you still believe in them even if they failed.  Their self esteem is still enhanced even when they get cut from the team.  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching

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Over the years, one of the most trying situations I encounter as a youth coach is dealing with the “Know it All Player.” More often than not this player tends to be a young teenager who is not afraid to be bold and let me know  that his way is better than my way. It doesn’t seem to matter that I played major league baseball or that I have been teaching the game for over 20 years, this “know it all” player believes one of three things: 1. He is performing the skill correctly even if I see he isn’t 2. His way is better and how dare I try to tell him otherwise or 3. Simply, I don’t know what I am talking about.
    What can a coach do in this situation? What I have done is detach emotionally – what this means is that I have found it does not help to yell, plead or try to convince this player otherwise but that doesn’t mean that I stop teaching. In my matter of fact voice I continue to teach what I know is correct in a very unemotional manner. This tells the player that I haven’t given up on him, which would be the normal inclination, but also that I am not investing all my energy in someone that wants to think they “know it all.”
    Sometimes, I am amazed that over time, this player begins to come around and begins to listen and try some of my suggestions.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Coaching – Check Ego in at the Door

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A few posts back I wrote about always being on the lookout for little inspirational quotes to have ready to say to athletes. Words are great but not as good as actions, of course. With that in mind, here are the three key ways to motivate athletes:

1. Attention – showing legitimate interest in activities that kids are involved with provides inspiration. Attending games, asking questions, practicing with, showing enthusiasm and providing financial support are all means of showing kids that you are interested in the same things that they are.
2.  Approval – positive words, well timed smiles, recognizing little improvements and effort help kids feel like a success and are inspiring.

      3.  Knowledge – providing players with fundamental knowledge and strategic know-how inspires confidence in athletes.

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How to Motivate Youth in Sports – Positive Parenting Actions

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It is very common for kids to dislike their coach for what ever reasons. Sometimes kids have a legitimate gripe but parents should not allow kids to trash talk their coach. Kids should be brought up to respect other adults as long as those coaches are not abusive in any way. It is important that parents inform kids that their coach is volunteering their time and have good intentions, even if the coach is not great at communicating or when the coach is short of knowledge of the sport. When kids get bad coaches, parents should use the situation as a good teaching moment and look for any possible alternatives for their kids, but still should not let their kids bad-mouth their coach. Of course, this does not mean that parents should not listen to their kids concerns and help their kids get through the season as smoothly as possible. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Don’t Allow Coach Trashing

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Previously, I had written about my favorite word when talking to athletes was “we.” It gives off the feeling to youth that all (parents, athletes and players) are in it together and that the athlete does not have to figure it out or go it alone on their journey to be as good as they can be. That brings me to my least favorite word that people use sometimes when speaking to athletes - embarrass. “You embarrassed me out there” or “that was embarrassing the way you played” or “You should be embarrassed with that performance.”  All of those statements only serve to demean athletes and give the impression that the athlete is playing for the “sayer” of the statement. Kids should be encouraged to play for themselves, the team and for the love and fun of sport, not necessarily to please their parents or coaches. Of course, the by product of parents and coaches who are encourraging and positive is that players also play to please the adults too. In this way, all benefit and the word embarrass will not be part of youth sports. 

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One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting

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     I work with baseball and softball palyers all the time because that is what I do for a living. Inevitably, when I begin talking to a group of players, many of them will immediately look elsewhere than at me. Is that a little annoying? Yes, but the thing is I’ve realized that it does not mean that the players who look away are the ones who are not paying attention. Some kids listen better when they are not looking at the speaker. So, I have learned to live with the fact that some kids will not be looking at me when giving a talk. What I have also learned to do is to ask questions after talking to see who is listening and to reinforce the spoken material.
    The problem is that not looking at the speaker is considered a sign of disrespect by many coaches. Players who are not looking at the coach, even if they are listening, are at a disadvantage for making the team or for being on the good side of the coach. WIth that in mind, parents should encourage kids to look at the coach when they are speaking as often as possible so they have equal opportunuties as the players who are looking at the coach. Of course, all players should be encouraged to listen and try the things that coaches suggest. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Are the Athletes Listening? Positive Coaching

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If you are a coach or parent and are not reading blogs and articles at sites like this one http://baseballparentguide.blogspot.com/2009/12/too-much-emphasis-on-winning-not.html then you are not maximizing your potential as a sports parent and/or youth coach. I agree with this article completely and would like to add something to it. Simply put –  leagues, schools and organizations need to have better training for their coaches. There is the age-old complaint that coaches are just out to win and don’t work enough on player development. That is true, but the reason it is true is that most youth coaches do not have the training to observe players to see if players are perfroming the fundamentals correctly. Just because a parent played the sport in their day, does not give them the power of observation to know if players are doing something correctly. I played major league baseball before teaching baseball for 21 years. Just playing did not make me a good coach. It took many hours of study and observation. Because most youth coaches do not have this experience does not make them  bad coaches, they just are not rained enough. The one thing they can fall back on without this observation abilility is to put all their effort in trying to win. This is unfortunate, but without better trained coaches, the situation will not change. Once again, coaches will just fall back on the only thing they know – trying to win. Leagues should put more emphasis on their coaches training – one preseason coaches clinic is not sufficient. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Youth Coaches Training

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Keys to Success

Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best in athletes and to guarantee athletic success.
1. Begin working on skills at least 6 weeks before the start of practice and gradually increase the work load each week leading up to the season.
2. Begin teaching basic fundamentals at a young age without being overbearing with instruction, of course.
3. Use good training aids when affordable and available. For example, using and stressing the use of a batting tee to hitters of every age can make all the difference.
4. Learn as many quality drills as possible and perform them correctly, especially drills that address the player’s biggest faults. When a drill is good it will force a player to do a skill more efficiently.
5. Use practice time like a golfer uses the driving range – before games for getting loose and for developing grooved actions and after games for making adjustments.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

5 Keys to Success in Sports

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Parenitng Advice

Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html

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Where the Wild Things Are In Sports

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Youth Sports Coaching

Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

“Star Treatment”

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1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...
4. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
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Sports Coaching

There are a number of considerations adults should take into account before volunteering to coach youth sports. Youth sports coaching is not as easy as it may appear because there is the responsibility of helping youth and at the same time keeping parents happy at the same time. With this in mind, adults should keep the following in mind before taking on the sports coaching task.
1. Knowledge of the sport is important, obviously. Coaches should have enough knowledge of the skills and strategy of the game to be able to help players of that age and enough knowledge to justify their decisions to inquisitive parents. With this in mind coaches should continue to learn more about the skills and strategy as the season approaches and as the season progressses.
2. Enthusiasm for the sport is important. Just having the knowledge is not enough if soem passion for the sport is not there. Enthusiasm is contagious and will rub off on the team, which is the goal. For example, many adults volunteer to coach only so there child can play on a particular team when they really don’t have a passion for that sport.
3. A desire to help every child on the team is important. Some youth sports coaches help only the better players and neglect others. Of course, some kids are not very coachable and coaches should not be expected to spend excess time with these type players at this level of play.
4. Fairness and honesty are crucial. As mentioned, coaches being able to deal with parents is crucial to an enjoyable season for all. This is most possible when coaches are fair with their decisions with regards to positions played, time of play and discipline. Additionally, coaches who are honest about their own strengths and weaknesses with players and coaches will have an easier time. Pretending to know everything about the sport, coaching and game strategy is a big mistake of many youth coaches.
5. Communication is always a key. Keeping players and parents abreast of important decisions is important. Coaches should not have to justify every move but should inform players and parents when big changes are being made or when they appear very upset with decisions.

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Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer

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Sports Coaching Tips

Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the end of the alphabet. Not a lot of inspiring words or words pertaining to sports beginning with X,Y or Z so I am improvising a little. Y is for “Youth” sports and that is the point – it should be all about our youth. Parents and coaches should not become the story. Good coaches and parents are there to organize, teach the games and life lesson to help kids mature but they should not get in the way of letting kids play, make mistakes and have fun. In my book Raising an Athlete I discuss how often parents ruin sports for kids, but that doesn’t need to be the case if people use patience, perspective and understanding when dealing with youth in sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y

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