4 Things to Try When Players Want to Quit a Sport – Effective Parenting
It is never good to force young athletes to continue playing a sport when they feel as though they don’t want to or for them to continue only because you, the parent, wants them to continue. However, it never hurts to try a few last ditch effective parenting efforts to see if their decision will change.
1. See if they might attend an offseason, quality camp – a good program will stress instruction and fun, which are the keys for youth sports.
2. Look for a great, respected coach in the area – this can revitalize a players interest.
3. Tell young player to wait till the following season to decide – time away often allows kids the opportunity to realize that they will miss playing.
4. See if athlete is willing to work with a professional coach for a spell before the next season. Knowledge learned along with confidence gained can turn attitude around. Good fundamental coaches should provide this knowledge and confidence.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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Parents and coaches often tell kids to go out there and prove yourself or to prove to the coach that you should be playing more, etc… These statements can be used as good motivators from time to time but often they set players up for greater disappointment when they do not have good games. It is always better to tell kids to go out there with the idea of “improving,” instead of trying to prove something.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Spree2010 via Flickr Sleep on It When...
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Rewards for Winning
I am not a fan of rewarding teams or individuals when they win or play well. Adults often do this by promising to go to a certain restaurant or buy the players a certain something when they win or perform well.  It often seemed like kids ended up playing more for the reward and not for the fun of the game and for winning itself. It also set the players up for more disappointment when they did not perform well and put parents in a bad spot of denying things to kids. However, I do like the practice of rewarding playerss with a little reward for a great effort level, win or lose.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
4. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
5. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...

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Sleep on It
When parents feel disappointment over their child’s effort level or practice habits, it is a good idea to wait to tell them the next day. This may lead to a sleepless night for the parent, but not to a bunch of sleepless nights because you say the wrong thing immediately. Giving yourself time to say something with the correct words and with the proper emotion will make everyone (kids and parents) feel better in the long run. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
3. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image via Wikipedia Heat or Ice for Sports Injury...
4. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the...

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Remember, doing something right and doing something almost right is the difference between athletic success and failure. Parents should keep this in mind when they can’t figure out why their kids are atruggling to have success in sports. Skill development in every sport requires correct fundamentals repeated continually in practice so that the skill happens automatically in the game. Practicing a skill almost correctly but not totally correct will lead to game failure in time. Having a players skills reviewed by a professional and practicing the suggested tips will almost always be beneficial for a players future.  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...
2. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R Resiliency – Another one of my favorite words with regards...

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Parents should encourage their kids to be leaders out on the field or on the sidelines. Letting kids know that they do not have to be star players to be team leaders is important. Players can always contribute with their enthusiasm and with “being there” for their struggling teammates.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
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5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...

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Having taught youth for a great number of years, I have encountered a great number of skill levels in kids. A few of my students have gone on to play major league baseball and many were cut from their team. No matter their skill level, there is one sentiment that I try to leave with them – “I believe in you and I will be pulling for you.” That is one of the most important things that adults, and mainly parents, should say to their kids when they go out to play sports. Is it giving false optimism? No, because that doesn’t change my wanting to let them know that, win or lose, you are on their side. When they don’t play well – it is easy to follow up with, “Hey, it wasn’t your day” or “I know you will get them the next time” or ”Hang in there, you did your best.” This intimates to them that you still believe in them even if they failed.  Their self esteem is still enhanced even when they get cut from the team.  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
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I have been keeping up with Luann on her training for fun blog – even though I am a guy, of course – but recognize the importance of what she believes in. Parents, in my opinion, should not miss out on doing these type things when their kids are young – otherwise, parents often look back when their kids are teenagers and wonder why they and their kids have nothing in common or why their kids turn to their peers for advice more than they turn to mom and dad. Here is a review of my book that she did but be sure and check out all her writing.
http://www.trainingforfun.com/book-review-raising-an-athlete-by-jack-perconte/
See more at www.trainingforfun.com

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Training for Fun – Great Blog for Moms

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by Beniamino Baj via Flickr Optimism In my...
2. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
3. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by chemisti via Flickr 4 Things to Try...
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Travel Ball Conundrum

Whether a child should play travel ball in a particular sport or not and at what age to begin playing is often a tough call for parents. In my latest book Raising an Athlete, I spend a whole chapter discussing this dilemma. There are four key things that can help determine when a kid should play travel ball. The importance of each factor is a little different for each family based on their particular situation.
1. The child’s interest level, not just the parents interest.
2. The coach they would play for – good caoches are priceless for a players life and sport development.
3. The player’s skill level – putting a player in a level they are not ready for is the quickest way to have them want to discontinue playing.
4. Time commitment – meeting the demands of much more playing can be tough to balance while having kids stay involved in other activities, including non-sport related ones.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

The Travel Ball Conundrum

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Coachable Players

Often when working with athletes I will sense a reluctance in some to try what I suggest. They may even blurt out, “My dad told me to do it another way,” or “My coach told me to do this” or even “My friend says this works for him.” I usually respond with “Give this way a try and we will find what works best.” Along the same lines, parents often ask what I recommend when two different coaches are teaching two different things. I tell them to tell their son or daughter that, ”Everything is worth a try so try what each coach suggests and go with what works. Have your child nod in agreement even if they know it is different from what another coach is teaching.” The point of this post is that athletes should not get in the habit of not listening to or trying what each coach suggests. That would be a great way of getting on the bad side of a coach and/or getting labeled as an uncoachable player. Coaches like to think they have the answers and that they know more than the player’s parents.  If players act like the coach is not correct, it definitely gives coaches a bad impression of that player. This often leads to bad consequences for these players resulting in a) the coach proceeds to ignore the player from then on b) it affects the player’s playing time c) the player gets cut from the team or doesn’t make the team. This situation is a great teaching moment for parents and gives your son or daughter the best chance of keeping a “coachable player” reputation, which is important for players looking to advance into high school baseball or beyond.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Developing Coachable Players

Positive parenting posts:

1. Sports Parenting Tips – Developing a Good Work Ethic Image by charissa1066 via Flickr     I have received...
2. Parenting Practice for Sports Parents Image by bowbrick via Flickr Good article at http://www.zikkir.com/index/109247 -...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
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     I work with baseball and softball palyers all the time because that is what I do for a living. Inevitably, when I begin talking to a group of players, many of them will immediately look elsewhere than at me. Is that a little annoying? Yes, but the thing is I’ve realized that it does not mean that the players who look away are the ones who are not paying attention. Some kids listen better when they are not looking at the speaker. So, I have learned to live with the fact that some kids will not be looking at me when giving a talk. What I have also learned to do is to ask questions after talking to see who is listening and to reinforce the spoken material.
    The problem is that not looking at the speaker is considered a sign of disrespect by many coaches. Players who are not looking at the coach, even if they are listening, are at a disadvantage for making the team or for being on the good side of the coach. WIth that in mind, parents should encourage kids to look at the coach when they are speaking as often as possible so they have equal opportunuties as the players who are looking at the coach. Of course, all players should be encouraged to listen and try the things that coaches suggest. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Are the Athletes Listening? Positive Coaching

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
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Good article at http://www.zikkir.com/index/109247 - Marye and I agree that parenting can be difficult and no where is that more evident than dealing with all the emotions that go into watching our kids play sports. We love our children so much and want to help them so much that often these factors get in the way of being the best parent at these moments. As she suggests in the article, parents should practice parenting – I know this seems weird but it is true. A good way to start is with my rule of 3.
When player makes mistakes count to 3 before saying anything.
When player has a tough game wait 3 hours before talking about game.
When player wants to quit a sport – tell them to wait 3 days to see if feeling change.
    Obviously, you can make this the rule of 4,5, whatever but the point is that a little time before reacting avoids impulsive, regrettable behavior that may hurt feelings between parent and athlete.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Parenting Practice for Sports Parents

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1. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by chemisti via Flickr 4 Things to Try...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
3. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Spree2010 via Flickr Sleep on It When...
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by Former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte
    I have read where the word “You” is the most empowering word in the English language and the best word to use to inspire someone. “You can do it,” “You are the best” and “I believe in you”  are great examples of support to youth. However, it is very easy to use the “you” word  negatively like, “You will never be any good doing it like that,” “You have to practice, more” and “You embarrass me” and so on. Used in this manner the you word becomes a drag on kids desire to play sports.
    My favorite word when it comes to working with athletes is “We.” “Don’t worry about it, we will figure it out,” “We will work on it” and “We can do better next time” are positive statements to kids, giving them the understanding that you and your kids are in it together. Saying things with we is much more comforting and inspiring to young athletes.  Parents who use “we” when addressing their kids may see a positive change in their kids practice habits and sports performance.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

My Favorite Positive Parenting Word?

Positive parenting posts:

1. One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting Image by thejesse via Flickr Previously, I had written...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M   Motivation – The first word that comes to mind...
5. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...

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Sports Coaching Tips

Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California Newspaper Online
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/making-outs-and-i-am-not-talki.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice

Positive parenting posts:

1. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
2. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
3. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
5. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...

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Parenting Advice

The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure they inevitably place on their kids:
A. Don’t let your child feel like your day revolves around their game and their play that day, even though it may be the highlight of your day.
B. Do not press them for details immediately after a game unless the player offers it. General questions like how they and the team played and did they have fun are OK, though.
C. At a later time, after dinner or the next day, give a positive before commenting on a player’s action and before offering advice. For example, saying “I liked the way you concentrated, next time you might want to try this in that situation.”
D. Parents should base their evaluations on a player’s effort level and not results. After all, athletes cannot always control winning and results, only their preparation and effort. My definition for success is how close to 100% did an athlete give and not how many points they scored.
E. Do not offer rewards (i.e. ice cream stop, money, etc.) if the child plays well.
F. Remain positive and encouraging – success often comes to players who have supportive, patient and understanding parents.
G. Explain the situation when you do show some frustration over your child’s performance. Apologizing after showing frustration – “I’m sorry, but I want you to do well, that’s part of what parents do” – or something to that effect is good positive parenting. After all, parents are not perfect and this will express that to your kids.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
3. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Q Quit - An obvious word when it comes to the...
5. Positive Parenting Lessons at Holiday Time It would be great if parents could afford to buy...

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