4 Things to Try When Players Want to Quit a Sport – Effective Parenting
It is never good to force young athletes to continue playing a sport when they feel as though they don’t want to or for them to continue only because you, the parent, wants them to continue. However, it never hurts to try a few last ditch effective parenting efforts to see if their decision will change.
1. See if they might attend an offseason, quality camp – a good program will stress instruction and fun, which are the keys for youth sports.
2. Look for a great, respected coach in the area – this can revitalize a players interest.
3. Tell young player to wait till the following season to decide – time away often allows kids the opportunity to realize that they will miss playing.
4. See if athlete is willing to work with a professional coach for a spell before the next season. Knowledge learned along with confidence gained can turn attitude around. Good fundamental coaches should provide this knowledge and confidence.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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Sport Parents Tip – Stay Alert
Of course, it is not good for parents to become over involved in their kids sports career to the point where they ruin the fun for their kid. However, parents of kids under the age of 12, should remain observant of the things that their coaches are teaching their young athletes. Parents, who gain an understanding of the correct way to perform athletic skills, can be a help to their sons and daughters when practicing with them or when analyzing their performance.  Positive reinforcement of the techniques, said in a non-threatening way to kids can be a great help when their coaches are not around. With this thought, parents should stay attentive to what “good, respected coaches are teaching their kids and then reinforce those things in the future. Parents should ask coaches for clarification of the things they don’t understand – if parents are attending their child’s game or practice anyway, they may as wall treat it as a learning experience. As has been said, “A little bit of knowledge is a dangerous thing.”

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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What to Say During Games
I see it happen all the time – a kid goes up to bat and his coach starts yelling to do this (“swing level,” i.e.) and the player’s parents are saying to do that (“keep your hands up,” i.e.) and then the hitter lets pitches go by that are right down the middle.  The coach and parents both sigh with disbelief thinking “why didn’t he swing at that.” Little do they realize that the batter didn’t swing because he was thinking about how he was going to keep his hands up and swing level. The point is that giving mechanical instructions during games takes concentration away from what is important, timing the ball in this instance. Coaches and parents should just give words of encouragement during games and leave the mechanical tips for practice. This gives players the chance to give their ultimate concentration to the things that are important to succeed. When success doesn’t come, it’s back to the drawing board (practice) for the mechanical adjustments.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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Encouraging athletes to work hard and expressing how much you (parents) appreciate it when they do work hard is important. Not every athlete can be successful but letting kids know that they are winners because of their high degree of effort is what’s important. Reminding athletes that they can not always control the outcome but they can control their amount of effort and preparation is the key. What athletes usually figure out is that the increased effort usually helps determine success and as we all know positive outcomes make playing more fun.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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    I have received this comment many times from parents over the years, “Would you make him a major leaguer.” I always respond with “only he can do that, but I will try to instill the correct fundamentals and impress upon him the importance of a great work ethic.” To avoid having regrets later and to reach one’s potential, a great work ethic is mandatory in sports and life. With that in mind, follwing are some of the statements that I often repeat to my students:
1. It is not the fast one out that wins in the long run but the steady methodical athlete who continually works at their skills.
2. An athlete can not always control the outcome but they can control their amount of effort and preparation, which usually helps determine the outcome
3. Keep positive images in your mind – think about that great  play you made and forget your mistakes and losses
4.  Everyone has the will to win – the winners are those that have the will to prepare to win. (Qoute is from some famous person who I am not sure)

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Sports Parenting Tips – Developing a Good Work Ethic

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Previously, I had written about my favorite word when talking to athletes was “we.” It gives off the feeling to youth that all (parents, athletes and players) are in it together and that the athlete does not have to figure it out or go it alone on their journey to be as good as they can be. That brings me to my least favorite word that people use sometimes when speaking to athletes - embarrass. “You embarrassed me out there” or “that was embarrassing the way you played” or “You should be embarrassed with that performance.”  All of those statements only serve to demean athletes and give the impression that the athlete is playing for the “sayer” of the statement. Kids should be encouraged to play for themselves, the team and for the love and fun of sport, not necessarily to please their parents or coaches. Of course, the by product of parents and coaches who are encourraging and positive is that players also play to please the adults too. In this way, all benefit and the word embarrass will not be part of youth sports. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting

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Coachable Players

Often when working with athletes I will sense a reluctance in some to try what I suggest. They may even blurt out, “My dad told me to do it another way,” or “My coach told me to do this” or even “My friend says this works for him.” I usually respond with “Give this way a try and we will find what works best.” Along the same lines, parents often ask what I recommend when two different coaches are teaching two different things. I tell them to tell their son or daughter that, ”Everything is worth a try so try what each coach suggests and go with what works. Have your child nod in agreement even if they know it is different from what another coach is teaching.” The point of this post is that athletes should not get in the habit of not listening to or trying what each coach suggests. That would be a great way of getting on the bad side of a coach and/or getting labeled as an uncoachable player. Coaches like to think they have the answers and that they know more than the player’s parents.  If players act like the coach is not correct, it definitely gives coaches a bad impression of that player. This often leads to bad consequences for these players resulting in a) the coach proceeds to ignore the player from then on b) it affects the player’s playing time c) the player gets cut from the team or doesn’t make the team. This situation is a great teaching moment for parents and gives your son or daughter the best chance of keeping a “coachable player” reputation, which is important for players looking to advance into high school baseball or beyond.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Developing Coachable Players

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Good article at http://www.zikkir.com/index/109247 - Marye and I agree that parenting can be difficult and no where is that more evident than dealing with all the emotions that go into watching our kids play sports. We love our children so much and want to help them so much that often these factors get in the way of being the best parent at these moments. As she suggests in the article, parents should practice parenting – I know this seems weird but it is true. A good way to start is with my rule of 3.
When player makes mistakes count to 3 before saying anything.
When player has a tough game wait 3 hours before talking about game.
When player wants to quit a sport – tell them to wait 3 days to see if feeling change.
    Obviously, you can make this the rule of 4,5, whatever but the point is that a little time before reacting avoids impulsive, regrettable behavior that may hurt feelings between parent and athlete.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Parenting Practice for Sports Parents

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Parents don’t have to give a big speech to inspire their kids and giving one is one of the best ways to alienate kids anyway. Giving short inpirational messages though at the appropriate time is “priceless” as the saying goes. Kids in sports and life encounter many situations that can disappoint and discourage them so providing little inpirational words can help them deal with those situations.
    Just recently, I had to throw the famous saying “Where there’s a will there’s a way” at one of my kids after they had to maneuver to get through a tough situation. Looking up inspirational quotes, or making some up yourself is suggested for parents to be ready for times when their athletes have to overcome adversity. Some of my favorites include “no fear,” “negativity rarely if ever helps” and “you will get through this and be stronger for it.” Once again, they are not totally original but come in handy for youth sports. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Providing Inspiration

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by Former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte
    I have read where the word “You” is the most empowering word in the English language and the best word to use to inspire someone. “You can do it,” “You are the best” and “I believe in you”  are great examples of support to youth. However, it is very easy to use the “you” word  negatively like, “You will never be any good doing it like that,” “You have to practice, more” and “You embarrass me” and so on. Used in this manner the you word becomes a drag on kids desire to play sports.
    My favorite word when it comes to working with athletes is “We.” “Don’t worry about it, we will figure it out,” “We will work on it” and “We can do better next time” are positive statements to kids, giving them the understanding that you and your kids are in it together. Saying things with we is much more comforting and inspiring to young athletes.  Parents who use “we” when addressing their kids may see a positive change in their kids practice habits and sports performance.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

My Favorite Positive Parenting Word?

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1. One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting Image by thejesse via Flickr Previously, I had written...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting Lessons at Holiday Time

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3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
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Parenitng Advice

Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Where the Wild Things Are In Sports

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3. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
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Sports Coaching Tips

Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California Newspaper Online
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/making-outs-and-i-am-not-talki.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice

Positive parenting posts:

1. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
2. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
3. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
5. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...

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Parenting Advice

The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure they inevitably place on their kids:
A. Don’t let your child feel like your day revolves around their game and their play that day, even though it may be the highlight of your day.
B. Do not press them for details immediately after a game unless the player offers it. General questions like how they and the team played and did they have fun are OK, though.
C. At a later time, after dinner or the next day, give a positive before commenting on a player’s action and before offering advice. For example, saying “I liked the way you concentrated, next time you might want to try this in that situation.”
D. Parents should base their evaluations on a player’s effort level and not results. After all, athletes cannot always control winning and results, only their preparation and effort. My definition for success is how close to 100% did an athlete give and not how many points they scored.
E. Do not offer rewards (i.e. ice cream stop, money, etc.) if the child plays well.
F. Remain positive and encouraging – success often comes to players who have supportive, patient and understanding parents.
G. Explain the situation when you do show some frustration over your child’s performance. Apologizing after showing frustration – “I’m sorry, but I want you to do well, that’s part of what parents do” – or something to that effect is good positive parenting. After all, parents are not perfect and this will express that to your kids.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
3. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Q Quit - An obvious word when it comes to the...
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Sports Coaching Tips

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...
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Youth Sports Coaching

Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that obviously goes beyond sports. In my book, Raising an Athlete, I go into detail talking about comparing confidence and optimism and how to build optimistic kids. Confidence is not something that can be given to someone but is attained by good performance and/or good work ethic. Confidence comes and goes based on ones most recent performance. Some athletes are naturally confident and others are not but both can be successful. Optimism is different and is something that can be given to athletes. Good coaches and parents are constantly looking at the bright side of things and display and state this optimistic attitude to young players. Developing optimistic athletes is essential and this development will often carry over beyond the playing fields into their everyday life. Kids who lack confidence  may still succeed but kids who are not optimistic rarely, if ever, succeeed. Sports is a great avenue for parents to teach life lessons because of the inevitable disappointments that all athletes experience at times. Creating optimistic people should be one of the goals of effective parenting in sports.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O

Positive parenting posts:

1. Raising an Athlete – Book Excerpt      Another common concern parents have is that their child...
2. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by Beniamino Baj via Flickr Optimism In my...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R Resiliency – Another one of my favorite words with regards...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...

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Sports Coaching Tips

Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I think of the letter N is negativity. Negativity unfortunately is way too common in sports coaching today. Coaches and parents who are negative are always looking at the downside of  players performances and make it a point to express the negative to their players. This is definitely the opposite technique that should be used compared to the recommended positive parenting in sports.  It may motivate players for a short period but in the long run negativity tends to wear players and teams down. This coaching technique should not be applied with non-professional athletes and coaches who do coach with negativity should try to understand the negative effects they are having on young athletes.  Coaches and parents who are negative should try to change their style of coaching and parenting and definitely should read books like mine Raising an Athlete – How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport. Kids who feel as though they can never satisfy mom or dad or coach usually lose their desire to keep playing sports.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
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