Sportsmanship
Part of learning to be a good sport is learning to be accepting of other players’ inadequacies. It is very common for better players to get upset when their teammates make mistakes. Getting upset is natural but displaying this unhappiness should never be allowed by sport parents and coaches. Good positive coaches watch for player’s reactions and should be on the lookout for situations where other players “show up” a teammate after a bad play. Additionally, parents in the stands are sometimes guilty of doing the same thing and this should also not be allowed. Good positive coaches should address this situation in a diplomatic way with players and parents when this negative situation occurs.

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Positive Sports Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
4. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife How to help...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...

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3 Things My Sports Coaching Experiences Have Taught Me
It astounds me when parents bring their kids into see me and say “It’s all in their head,” as to why they are not performing well. I have found this is rarely the case.
1. Every day a player spends reinforcing bad habits, makes it that much more difficult to change to good habits. 2. Learning and practicing the correct fundamentals as soon as possible will pay off, if not immediately, then definitely with the increased level of fundamentals at the start of the following season. 3. The money parents spend to help improve a players fundamentals is usually well worth it, as long as it is spent with a well respected, knowledgeable coach.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
4. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...
5. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Spree2010 via Flickr Sleep on It When...

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Parents should not underestimate the influence that their child’s coach have on them There is no better motivator for a youth athlete than playing for a coach who is caring, inspiring and knowledgeable. Finding this type coach at the youth level can be difficult too and is often just the luck of the draw in leagues where players are picked in a draft type situation. As players move up the sports ladder though, parents can look for these type coaches at the travel and high school levels. Finding theses coaches can be well worth the effort though, even if that means moving to a better school, because a great coach can be a positive influence for the rest of their kids lives.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
2. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
3. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife How to help...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
5. The Travel Ball Conundrum Image by Getty Images via Daylife Whether a child...

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How to help a youth sports coach?
Maybe the biggest complaint in youth sports is, “The coach stinks.” Maybe the complaint has merit, maybe not. If parents believe that is the truth, they should do something about it. After all, what is more important? Having your child go through a miserable season or doing something to help the situation. Talking to the coach probably will not make the situation better. So, a self serving suggestion I know, but, what about buying a book like “Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport” and give it to the coach. If you feel uncomfortable giving it to the coach, do it anonymously. A book like this will help any youth sports coach to learn to treat kids better and inspire the coach to learn the particular sport better too.

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Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
3. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
4. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the...

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Many parents don’t realize that they are exerting excessive parental pressure on their sports playing kids. If parents notice the following happening often they should learn to back off some. 1. When analyzing their child’s play to others the young player always disagrees with the analysis. 2. When a child is playing or practicing, they are constantly looking to their parent for approval and/or for instruction. Parents should allow and insist that their kid pays attention to their coach during practice and games.

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Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
4. Positive Parenting Lessons at Holiday Time It would be great if parents could afford to buy...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...

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Remember, it is OK, in my opinion, to miss your kids games occasionally
Somewhere, over the years, the opinion has been created that one is a bad parent if when they don’t attend their child’s games. Feeling this way may put too much emphasis on the child’s sports career to the point where the sport becomes “everything” to every one. This doesn’t mean parents should not show interest in their games with post-game questions but it is not necessary to be at every game.

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Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
4. Love of Sport Image via Wikipedia I often encounter kids that play...
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Sleep on It
When parents feel disappointment over their child’s effort level or practice habits, it is a good idea to wait to tell them the next day. This may lead to a sleepless night for the parent, but not to a bunch of sleepless nights because you say the wrong thing immediately. Giving yourself time to say something with the correct words and with the proper emotion will make everyone (kids and parents) feel better in the long run. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
3. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image via Wikipedia Heat or Ice for Sports Injury...
4. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the...

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Developing sel-esteem in youth is crucial to there development and sports is a great medium to be able to do this. Good coaches know how to do this by using the following actions:
1. Good coaches recognize the different personalities of each player and encourage each player to be themselves – trying to get players to be like someone else or to act differently is not usually good. Though, this is not to mean that coaches should not encourage all players to give as close to %100 as possible.
2. Good coaches look for ways those players can use their personal gifts to help the team beyond just the playing aspect. For example, players who have a good sense of humor should be encouraged to use that trait to keep the team (and coaches) loose.
3. Good coaches mention positive contributions to player’s parents when possible. Nothing encourages a kid more than feeling like they have made their parents proud.

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Building Self- Esteem in Youth – Positive Coaching

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little...
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4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
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Having taught youth for a great number of years, I have encountered a great number of skill levels in kids. A few of my students have gone on to play major league baseball and many were cut from their team. No matter their skill level, there is one sentiment that I try to leave with them – “I believe in you and I will be pulling for you.” That is one of the most important things that adults, and mainly parents, should say to their kids when they go out to play sports. Is it giving false optimism? No, because that doesn’t change my wanting to let them know that, win or lose, you are on their side. When they don’t play well – it is easy to follow up with, “Hey, it wasn’t your day” or “I know you will get them the next time” or ”Hang in there, you did your best.” This intimates to them that you still believe in them even if they failed.  Their self esteem is still enhanced even when they get cut from the team.  

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I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
5. ABC”s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Z ZEAL – Finally made it to the end of the...

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Over the years, one of the most trying situations I encounter as a youth coach is dealing with the “Know it All Player.” More often than not this player tends to be a young teenager who is not afraid to be bold and let me know  that his way is better than my way. It doesn’t seem to matter that I played major league baseball or that I have been teaching the game for over 20 years, this “know it all” player believes one of three things: 1. He is performing the skill correctly even if I see he isn’t 2. His way is better and how dare I try to tell him otherwise or 3. Simply, I don’t know what I am talking about.
    What can a coach do in this situation? What I have done is detach emotionally – what this means is that I have found it does not help to yell, plead or try to convince this player otherwise but that doesn’t mean that I stop teaching. In my matter of fact voice I continue to teach what I know is correct in a very unemotional manner. This tells the player that I haven’t given up on him, which would be the normal inclination, but also that I am not investing all my energy in someone that wants to think they “know it all.”
    Sometimes, I am amazed that over time, this player begins to come around and begins to listen and try some of my suggestions.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Coaching – Check Ego in at the Door

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – V Parenting Advice Variety,Victory,Voice,View - There is no one word...
2. I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching Image by Development Works Photos via Flickr Having taught...
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4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...
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    I have received this comment many times from parents over the years, “Would you make him a major leaguer.” I always respond with “only he can do that, but I will try to instill the correct fundamentals and impress upon him the importance of a great work ethic.” To avoid having regrets later and to reach one’s potential, a great work ethic is mandatory in sports and life. With that in mind, follwing are some of the statements that I often repeat to my students:
1. It is not the fast one out that wins in the long run but the steady methodical athlete who continually works at their skills.
2. An athlete can not always control the outcome but they can control their amount of effort and preparation, which usually helps determine the outcome
3. Keep positive images in your mind – think about that great  play you made and forget your mistakes and losses
4.  Everyone has the will to win – the winners are those that have the will to prepare to win. (Qoute is from some famous person who I am not sure)

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Sports Parenting Tips – Developing a Good Work Ethic

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1. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by The Library of Congress via Flickr Encouraging athletes...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
3. Raising an Athlete – Book Excerpt      Another common concern parents have is that their child...
4. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...

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A few posts back I wrote about always being on the lookout for little inspirational quotes to have ready to say to athletes. Words are great but not as good as actions, of course. With that in mind, here are the three key ways to motivate athletes:

1. Attention – showing legitimate interest in activities that kids are involved with provides inspiration. Attending games, asking questions, practicing with, showing enthusiasm and providing financial support are all means of showing kids that you are interested in the same things that they are.
2.  Approval – positive words, well timed smiles, recognizing little improvements and effort help kids feel like a success and are inspiring.

      3.  Knowledge – providing players with fundamental knowledge and strategic know-how inspires confidence in athletes.

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How to Motivate Youth in Sports – Positive Parenting Actions

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M   Motivation – The first word that comes to mind...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R Resiliency – Another one of my favorite words with regards...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
5. Building Self- Esteem in Youth – Positive Coaching Image by Cristeros_Pride via Flickr Developing sel-esteem in youth...

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It is very common for kids to dislike their coach for what ever reasons. Sometimes kids have a legitimate gripe but parents should not allow kids to trash talk their coach. Kids should be brought up to respect other adults as long as those coaches are not abusive in any way. It is important that parents inform kids that their coach is volunteering their time and have good intentions, even if the coach is not great at communicating or when the coach is short of knowledge of the sport. When kids get bad coaches, parents should use the situation as a good teaching moment and look for any possible alternatives for their kids, but still should not let their kids bad-mouth their coach. Of course, this does not mean that parents should not listen to their kids concerns and help their kids get through the season as smoothly as possible. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Don’t Allow Coach Trashing

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1. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
2. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife How to help...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
5. Positive Coaching – Check Ego in at the Door Image by melissajonas via Flickr Over the years, one...

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Previously, I had written about my favorite word when talking to athletes was “we.” It gives off the feeling to youth that all (parents, athletes and players) are in it together and that the athlete does not have to figure it out or go it alone on their journey to be as good as they can be. That brings me to my least favorite word that people use sometimes when speaking to athletes - embarrass. “You embarrassed me out there” or “that was embarrassing the way you played” or “You should be embarrassed with that performance.”  All of those statements only serve to demean athletes and give the impression that the athlete is playing for the “sayer” of the statement. Kids should be encouraged to play for themselves, the team and for the love and fun of sport, not necessarily to please their parents or coaches. Of course, the by product of parents and coaches who are encourraging and positive is that players also play to please the adults too. In this way, all benefit and the word embarrass will not be part of youth sports. 

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One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting

Positive parenting posts:

1. My Favorite Positive Parenting Word? Image via Wikipedia by Former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
4. Creating Enthusiasm in Athletes Image by Getty Images via Daylife A great way...
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     I work with baseball and softball palyers all the time because that is what I do for a living. Inevitably, when I begin talking to a group of players, many of them will immediately look elsewhere than at me. Is that a little annoying? Yes, but the thing is I’ve realized that it does not mean that the players who look away are the ones who are not paying attention. Some kids listen better when they are not looking at the speaker. So, I have learned to live with the fact that some kids will not be looking at me when giving a talk. What I have also learned to do is to ask questions after talking to see who is listening and to reinforce the spoken material.
    The problem is that not looking at the speaker is considered a sign of disrespect by many coaches. Players who are not looking at the coach, even if they are listening, are at a disadvantage for making the team or for being on the good side of the coach. WIth that in mind, parents should encourage kids to look at the coach when they are speaking as often as possible so they have equal opportunuties as the players who are looking at the coach. Of course, all players should be encouraged to listen and try the things that coaches suggest. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Are the Athletes Listening? Positive Coaching

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
2. One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting Image by thejesse via Flickr Previously, I had written...
3. I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching Image by Development Works Photos via Flickr Having taught...
4. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
5. Positive Coaching – Check Ego in at the Door Image by melissajonas via Flickr Over the years, one...

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If you are a coach or parent and are not reading blogs and articles at sites like this one http://baseballparentguide.blogspot.com/2009/12/too-much-emphasis-on-winning-not.html then you are not maximizing your potential as a sports parent and/or youth coach. I agree with this article completely and would like to add something to it. Simply put –  leagues, schools and organizations need to have better training for their coaches. There is the age-old complaint that coaches are just out to win and don’t work enough on player development. That is true, but the reason it is true is that most youth coaches do not have the training to observe players to see if players are perfroming the fundamentals correctly. Just because a parent played the sport in their day, does not give them the power of observation to know if players are doing something correctly. I played major league baseball before teaching baseball for 21 years. Just playing did not make me a good coach. It took many hours of study and observation. Because most youth coaches do not have this experience does not make them  bad coaches, they just are not rained enough. The one thing they can fall back on without this observation abilility is to put all their effort in trying to win. This is unfortunate, but without better trained coaches, the situation will not change. Once again, coaches will just fall back on the only thing they know – trying to win. Leagues should put more emphasis on their coaches training – one preseason coaches clinic is not sufficient. 

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Youth Coaches Training

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. Positive Coaching – Check Ego in at the Door Image by melissajonas via Flickr Over the years, one...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
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Sports Coaching Philosophy

Coaching Philosophy

    It is important for coaches at all levels to have a philosophy of coaching. Of course, this philosophy should be arrived at based on the age of athletes and the competitive level of the league the athletes are playing in. For example, travel leagues tend to be more competitive so this should be taken into account when coaches are drawing up their philosophy. Three main objectives of playing sports revolve around winning, player development and fun. Coaches need to decide how much emphasis they are going to spend on these, once again, based on the age and competitive nature of the league and playing level. It is important to note that having fun should be an objective for all, but many coaches do not know how to make things fun. This does not make them bad coaches, as long as they teach the game to all players in a respectful manner.
    Coaches should write this philosophy down before the season and share it with team members and tem parents. This will help keep everyone on the same page and help keep the coach accountable to this philospohy as the season progresses.
   With younger athletes, most of the emphasis should be placed on player development. Coaches can still play to win but they should not dwell on winning or losing with these players. This is best done by keeping the same demeanor after wins and losses, and by not mentioning the importance of winning to the team. Coaches of young athletes should spend a great deal of time with developing individual skills and teaching basic game strategy.
    As kids age level increases, coaches expect a certain level of expertise from players and can start to emphasize the importance of winning more. This “winning attitude” should not be an obsession, but treated as a reward for coaches and athletes. This reward of winning creates good feeling with all because it shows that players executed better than the opposition and that the coach better prepared their team for competition.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...
2. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
3. Youth Coaches Training Image by Brian Sawyer via Flickr If you are...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little...

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Youth Sports Coaching

Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

“Star Treatment”

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...
4. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
5. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...

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Sports Coaching

There are a number of considerations adults should take into account before volunteering to coach youth sports. Youth sports coaching is not as easy as it may appear because there is the responsibility of helping youth and at the same time keeping parents happy at the same time. With this in mind, adults should keep the following in mind before taking on the sports coaching task.
1. Knowledge of the sport is important, obviously. Coaches should have enough knowledge of the skills and strategy of the game to be able to help players of that age and enough knowledge to justify their decisions to inquisitive parents. With this in mind coaches should continue to learn more about the skills and strategy as the season approaches and as the season progressses.
2. Enthusiasm for the sport is important. Just having the knowledge is not enough if soem passion for the sport is not there. Enthusiasm is contagious and will rub off on the team, which is the goal. For example, many adults volunteer to coach only so there child can play on a particular team when they really don’t have a passion for that sport.
3. A desire to help every child on the team is important. Some youth sports coaches help only the better players and neglect others. Of course, some kids are not very coachable and coaches should not be expected to spend excess time with these type players at this level of play.
4. Fairness and honesty are crucial. As mentioned, coaches being able to deal with parents is crucial to an enjoyable season for all. This is most possible when coaches are fair with their decisions with regards to positions played, time of play and discipline. Additionally, coaches who are honest about their own strengths and weaknesses with players and coaches will have an easier time. Pretending to know everything about the sport, coaching and game strategy is a big mistake of many youth coaches.
5. Communication is always a key. Keeping players and parents abreast of important decisions is important. Coaches should not have to justify every move but should inform players and parents when big changes are being made or when they appear very upset with decisions.

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Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. Building Self- Esteem in Youth – Positive Coaching Image by Cristeros_Pride via Flickr Developing sel-esteem in youth...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little...
5. Preparing for Next Season Image via Wikipedia Now is a good time to...

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Sports Coaching Tips

     Another common concern parents have is that their child has no confidence. Often, they would ask me to help build up their child’s confidence. Of course, I would work on that because that is what good coaches do. Of more importance, I felt, was to make sure the young players had an overall optimistic outlook. Confidence is great, optimism is even better. Just like people in general, some athletes are naturally confident whereas others have no confidence. Players also have different confidence levels, ranging from very confident to somewhat confident. Usually, the higher the confidence levels of the athlete the better chance of a good performance. Confidence helps but it does not guarantee good results.

     Likewise, some players have an optimistic outlook and others are pessimistic. Optimistic players would say, “My fault, but I’ll get them next time,” while pessimistic players would say things like “I’m no good,” or “the umpire screwed me.” I was an example of a player who played and succeeded without much confidence, yet always had an optimistic feeling about where I was headed in my career. Players can succeed and progress without high levels of confidence, but I have never known a successful player who did not have an optimistic outlook.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Raising an Athlete – Book Excerpt

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
2. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by Beniamino Baj via Flickr Optimism In my...
3. Positive Sports Tip Of the Day Image via Wikipedia Expect Success Recently, I wrote that...
4. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
5. One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting Image by thejesse via Flickr Previously, I had written...

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Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching

Positive parenting posts:

1. Don’t Allow Coach Trashing Image by Getty Images via Daylife It is very...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
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Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the end of the alphabet. Not a lot of inspiring words or words pertaining to sports beginning with X,Y or Z so I am improvising a little. Y is for “Youth” sports and that is the point – it should be all about our youth. Parents and coaches should not become the story. Good coaches and parents are there to organize, teach the games and life lesson to help kids mature but they should not get in the way of letting kids play, make mistakes and have fun. In my book Raising an Athlete I discuss how often parents ruin sports for kids, but that doesn’t need to be the case if people use patience, perspective and understanding when dealing with youth in sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y

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Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little on this one but I want to keep the streak going. Everyone knows how important it is for coaches and parents to lead by example.  Just as important, especially as players reach the high school level, is that players learn to also lead by example. Not all players can lead by example but the best case scenario for a team and coach is when the better players on a team show the best hustle, a good work ethic and a desire to help the team. When the better players have this “team” attitude and selfless attitude, this example spurs all team members to follow their lead. Good coaches will look for players who have this ability to lead by example and will encourage them to continue and recognize these players at the appropriate time. Players who lead by example are respected by their teammates and are a credit to their school, team and city.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X

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Parenting Advice

Winning – The first word that comes to mind when thinking of words that begin with W and sports is winning. It is often debated whether coaches of youth should play to win. I believe it is OK to play to win, even at ages as young as 8 years old. Does that mean allot of emphasis should be put on winning? Of course not, but playing to win is a good message for kids to understand. When coaches do not play to win they give the meassage that mediocrity is acceptable.
For kids under the agea of 12, I don’t believe any more than a 33% emphasis should be put on winning though, with much of a coach’s goal being to develop player’s skills and kids having fun. As long as these two latter points are emphasiszed there is nothing wron with playing to win, showing kids that they should strive for perfection and success.
How coaches deal with winning and losing is very important and hopefully it is in a positive, educational and gracious manner. Teaching kids how to deal with winning and losing are valuable lessons that kids need to learn and good coaches and parents are there to provide this instruction.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W

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Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy for me or appears easy from the sidelines, does not mean it is easy for everyone.” ” I play to win, with the understanding that player development and fun are of equal importance.” “I do my best to understand each player’s personality so I can determine how to make them feel good about themselves and their play.”

These are some quotes from my latest book and show the importance of the word beginning with the letter U.
In “Rasing an Athlete” I have a coach’s quiz to see where coaches rank on a effective coaching scale. There are 50 questions asked with some valued higher than others. The intent is not really to evaluate coaches but to give people an understanding of how many ingredients go into making a great coach. Parents of athletes should not expect their volunteer coaches to rank super high on the quiz because they don’t have the experience, training and time to devote to being a great coach. Most great coaches are found at the collegiate and pro levels, with some at the high school level and even fewer at the youth level. However, this is not to say that there are not some very good youth level coaches because there are. Also, the good news is that coaches can and do improve over time with this often being a trial and error process to bring out the best in young players.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U

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Coaching Youth Sports

Trust -

The obvious word that comes to the sports mind with the letter T is Talent. Talent is a combination of God-given athleticism and some develped skills and generally manifests itself at a young age in kids. The word that I want to talk about is trust because this is an extrememly important concept when parents and coaches work with athletes. Trust is something that people earn over time and is vital in keeping a good coach/student relationship. It is especially difficult to work with one’s own child and developing extreme patience is necessary. Following are some things to additionally consider in developing an athletes trust in you, the coach.

* Study up or be quiet – kids generally can recognize when someone does not know what they are talking about. This recognition is easy for kids when their coach tells them to to something one way and their parent tells them something different. Have the evidence on your side by doing some reseach if needed and don’t demonstrate something if you are not very good at it. It is hard to trust someone that looks awkward doing it themselves.

* Give kids a little time to fail before correcting them. When someone expects perfection too soon they will get defensive and may want to quit practicing.

* Say a positive before a negative – “I liked the way you did that, next time try this also,” for example.

*Address the action as much as possible – that swing, throw catch,kick – instead of “you” did this wrong.

* The tenor of the voice used is the key – saying things in an informative, non-emotional voice will go along way to gain trust as opposed to a “listen to me or else” voice. If you notice your son or daughter gets upset when you tell them how to do something then you are probably saying things in an accusing voice.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T

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Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I think of the letter N is negativity. Negativity unfortunately is way too common in sports coaching today. Coaches and parents who are negative are always looking at the downside of  players performances and make it a point to express the negative to their players. This is definitely the opposite technique that should be used compared to the recommended positive parenting in sports.  It may motivate players for a short period but in the long run negativity tends to wear players and teams down. This coaching technique should not be applied with non-professional athletes and coaches who do coach with negativity should try to understand the negative effects they are having on young athletes.  Coaches and parents who are negative should try to change their style of coaching and parenting and definitely should read books like mine Raising an Athlete – How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport. Kids who feel as though they can never satisfy mom or dad or coach usually lose their desire to keep playing sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N

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Justify – Not a lot of words beginning with this letter. Of course, coaches and parents should always be judicious with their teams and kids when making decisions about athletics. But one of my favorite words is justify. Most kids stop playing sports not because they get burnt out but because they cannot justify working so hard when the results are not there. This is a justifiable reason for ending their relationship with a sport and one in which a player’s parents should understand even if the parents are disappointed that their child has decided to stop playing. Kids who end playing for this reason can be proud that they gave it their all and things just didn’t work out to continue playing.

Knowledge - Simply put, knowledge creates confidence and a lack of knowledge causes insecurity and a lack of confidence. I know this first hand – because my lack of knowledge of the fundamentals of baseball I often felt out of control when playing which lead to a loss of confidence and a scared feeling, even though I made it to the major leagues. Giving players the knowledge of how to play and how to do the mechanics of sport is the number one responsibility of a coach.  Coaches are teachers of sport and they should continue to learn about the sport they coach so they can continue to provide technical and strategic knowledge of the sport so kids can play with confidence and poise.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – J & K

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Inspiration

-  This is an obvious word that initially comes to mind when I think of words beginning with this letter. Many parents get frustrated with their kids because they do not show much motivation to play to practice their skills. Often, motivation comes from within a players innate personality so that is hard to change with many kids. However, parents and coaches should not miss chances to inspire kids with words and actions. These words and actions may not help immediately or with that particular sport, but may help down the line with another activity in their child’s life. In my book “ Raising an Athlete” I discuss many ways of providing inspiration to kids.
Instincts - This is not as obvious a concept as inspiration but is an appropriate one when it comes to athletics. Some kids just seem to have good instincts at a particular sport and others not as much. The good new is that instincts can be developed. The biggest key to developing these is by playing actual game competition. Practice is always necessary for skill developmnet but insticts usually need game experience to develop them. When I grew up many of these instincts were developed at the local fields playing continaully in unorganized games with friends. Kids these days do not tend to play in unorganized atmospheres as often so these instincts sometimes are not developed as easily. This is where the increased degree of travel ball over the last 20 years has helped kids to develop the instincts of sport.

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ABC,s of Positive Parenting in Sports – I

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Hope – This is one of my favorite concepts that is so important in youth sports. It is so important because it is something concrete that parents and coaches can give kids that can make all the difference. You see, another person cannot give a player confidence for that is something they must attain on their own.  But, hope is something that can be given to athletes. Remaining positive with athletes when they struggle and providing helpful fundamental knowledge at the appropriate time gives players hope that they can do better the next time. As long as a player has hope, they usually will want to keep playing and look forward to practice and playing games. Positive words of encouragement before and after games are of course helpful, but  the most helpful advice is generally some solid fundamental tip that will make the player realize that they can perform well if they do the fundamentals correctly. A player feels hopeful when it is their fundamentals that need improving as opposed to thinking that it is “in their head” as to the reason they are not playing well. Do not overwhelm players with instruction but give hope whenever possible with a little tip.

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Coaching Youth Sports Positively

Fundamentals
    If you have been following my writings over the last few years you know that this is the concept(s) I discuss the most frequently. To me, this word contains the two most important ideas pertaining to youth sports. Youth sports is albout developing fundamentals and having fun. The two go hand and hand. It is rare for a young athlete to want to work on the fundamentals of a sport without it being fun and it is rarely fun if a player doesn’t have some success at what they are playing, which is where improved or good fundamentals come in. That leads us to the key: it is vital that athletes come in touch with knowledgeable coaches who know how to make the game fun. This may be the athletes parent, but whoever it is, this person can determine how much the player is willing to work at their skills in that sport. One good coach can develop a player’s love for the game which generally leads to their desire to work hard to reach their potential.  Finding a coach who can make the game fun at practice and in games is the key to helping kids get the most out of their talent. Putting the fun in fundamentals is what I tried to dispaly in my first book The Making of a Hitter – A Proven & Practical Step-by- Step Baseball Guide - for baseball lovers. 

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – F

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Confidence  – Nowhere is confidence more important than on the playing fields of sport. Without confidence, players often lose their desire to keep playing, and at the very least they tend to play scared. Some players are naturally more confident than others, but confidence can be gained over time. Gaining confidence almost always is related to success. This is where things get tricky sometimes and where parents and coaches are vital to helping young athletes with their development. How parents and coaches define success and being able to relate that definition and help kids believe the definition is the key. I tell kids the definition of success is when they give as close to 100% as possible to whatever they put their mind and physical effort to. Not every child is blessed with the same degree of athletice talent or athletic instincts, but those that make the most of what they are given are a success. With this definition ingrained in young players, you will begin to see confident players and kids no matter the statistical outcome of their games. In my book, Raising an Athlete, I devote a great deal of time giving coaches and parents the words, phrases and gestures that help develop not only confident players on the field but , more importantly, optimistic kids for their futures.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – C

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Attention – Getting the attention of players can be difiicult. Their attention span is often short and when they are around teammates and friends it tends to be even shorter. A couple of techniques I use to help this situation was to allow players time to warm up and socialize with their teammates before giving a talk on what you wanted to accomplish at the practice session, instead of trying to get them to listen immediately at the start of practice. Secondly, I would ask questions about what I was teaching. I was often amazed at which kids were paying attention and which ones were not. Often, the ones paying attention were not the players who were looking directly at you. That is why a short question and answer session was useful. If players know they may be called upon to answer a question, they had a tendency to pay more attention.

 Believability – Parents and coaches must have some experience with what they are teaching youth if they expect players to listen and try what they suggest. If parents don’t know the “why” and have previous “experience” of doing something a certain way, then kids will have a hard time wanting to do it their way. When parents do not have that expertise they should research it (read books, watch video, ask other coaches) or have an experienced coach work with their child. Otherwise, kids will tune the parent out or tell them to be quiet when they play and practice, especially when a kid reaches a higher level of ball, or just an older age. Reaffirming in a positive manner at the appropriate time what the player’s coaches are teaching is good, though. Future posts will discuss things like “positive manner” and “appropriate time.”

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – A & B

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