Keeping Sports in Perspective

“How you do and who you are, are two different things,” is another one of the lines I often say to my kids and students. When parents and coaches put so much stock in their kids sports performance kids may begin to feel like their identity is defined only by the sport. Judging a players effort is the key and not their results along with being able to “let bad games go” so kids don’t dwell on rough games too long.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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1. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
2. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife What to Say...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
3. The Travel Ball Conundrum Image by Getty Images via Daylife Whether a child...
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Parenting Perspective
Talking with a parent of one of my students recently when he says, “I know my kids aren’t going to be pro players but I just want to keep them out of trouble.” That is true for 99% of young athletes – they are not going to be pro athletes – but there are so many great things that youth sports can provide kids  - camaraderie, teamwork, sportsmanship, work ethic – just to name a very few things. And maybe most important – playing sports can occupy kids time, which is no small matter in this day and age. So many other influences can occur when kids have too much time on their hands. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day I remember reading this saying somewhere and have never...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little...
4. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife What to Say...
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Parents and coaches often tell kids to go out there and prove yourself or to prove to the coach that you should be playing more, etc… These statements can be used as good motivators from time to time but often they set players up for greater disappointment when they do not have good games. It is always better to tell kids to go out there with the idea of “improving,” instead of trying to prove something.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Spree2010 via Flickr Sleep on It When...
2. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife Rewards for Winning...
3. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...

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Parents should not underestimate the influence that their child’s coach have on them There is no better motivator for a youth athlete than playing for a coach who is caring, inspiring and knowledgeable. Finding this type coach at the youth level can be difficult too and is often just the luck of the draw in leagues where players are picked in a draft type situation. As players move up the sports ladder though, parents can look for these type coaches at the travel and high school levels. Finding theses coaches can be well worth the effort though, even if that means moving to a better school, because a great coach can be a positive influence for the rest of their kids lives.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
2. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
3. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife How to help...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
5. The Travel Ball Conundrum Image by Getty Images via Daylife Whether a child...

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What to Say During Games
I see it happen all the time – a kid goes up to bat and his coach starts yelling to do this (“swing level,” i.e.) and the player’s parents are saying to do that (“keep your hands up,” i.e.) and then the hitter lets pitches go by that are right down the middle.  The coach and parents both sigh with disbelief thinking “why didn’t he swing at that.” Little do they realize that the batter didn’t swing because he was thinking about how he was going to keep his hands up and swing level. The point is that giving mechanical instructions during games takes concentration away from what is important, timing the ball in this instance. Coaches and parents should just give words of encouragement during games and leave the mechanical tips for practice. This gives players the chance to give their ultimate concentration to the things that are important to succeed. When success doesn’t come, it’s back to the drawing board (practice) for the mechanical adjustments.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M   Motivation – The first word that comes to mind...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
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Rewards for Winning
I am not a fan of rewarding teams or individuals when they win or play well. Adults often do this by promising to go to a certain restaurant or buy the players a certain something when they win or perform well.  It often seemed like kids ended up playing more for the reward and not for the fun of the game and for winning itself. It also set the players up for more disappointment when they did not perform well and put parents in a bad spot of denying things to kids. However, I do like the practice of rewarding playerss with a little reward for a great effort level, win or lose.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W Winning – The first word that comes to mind when...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
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Image by mag3737 via Flickr

I remember reading this saying somewhere and have never forgotten it, “Scoreboard begins with letter S, but so does Sportsmanship.” The point is that who wins and loses is somewhat important but the feelings associated with them goes away quickly. The feeling one gets when applying good sportsmanship is a way of life and never goes away.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
2. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by Getty Images via @daylife Parenting Perspective Talking...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – S Success – The old saying “nothing succeeds like success” does...
5. Parenting Practice for Sports Parents Image by bowbrick via Flickr Good article at http://www.zikkir.com/index/109247 -...

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Remember, doing something right and doing something almost right is the difference between athletic success and failure. Parents should keep this in mind when they can’t figure out why their kids are atruggling to have success in sports. Skill development in every sport requires correct fundamentals repeated continually in practice so that the skill happens automatically in the game. Practicing a skill almost correctly but not totally correct will lead to game failure in time. Having a players skills reviewed by a professional and practicing the suggested tips will almost always be beneficial for a players future.  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...
2. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
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Casually bringing up a memory of a good athletic play that your child made at an unlikely time is a good positive parenting idea. For example: while sitting on the beach with your child or driving to school saying “I just thought of the time you made that game saving tackle” will put a good thought in your child’s mind and can boost their self -confidence and self-esteem. Putting positive sporting images in the mind is good practice for parents as well as kids, especially when kids are going through struggling athletic times.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
2. The Travel Ball Conundrum Image by Getty Images via Daylife Whether a child...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
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Parents should encourage their kids to be leaders out on the field or on the sidelines. Letting kids know that they do not have to be star players to be team leaders is important. Players can always contribute with their enthusiasm and with “being there” for their struggling teammates.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day

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1. Building Self- Esteem in Youth – Positive Coaching Image by Cristeros_Pride via Flickr Developing sel-esteem in youth...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little...
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I have been keeping up with Luann on her training for fun blog – even though I am a guy, of course – but recognize the importance of what she believes in. Parents, in my opinion, should not miss out on doing these type things when their kids are young – otherwise, parents often look back when their kids are teenagers and wonder why they and their kids have nothing in common or why their kids turn to their peers for advice more than they turn to mom and dad. Here is a review of my book that she did but be sure and check out all her writing.
http://www.trainingforfun.com/book-review-raising-an-athlete-by-jack-perconte/
See more at www.trainingforfun.com

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Training for Fun – Great Blog for Moms

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by Beniamino Baj via Flickr Optimism In my...
2. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
3. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by chemisti via Flickr 4 Things to Try...
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Travel Ball Conundrum

Whether a child should play travel ball in a particular sport or not and at what age to begin playing is often a tough call for parents. In my latest book Raising an Athlete, I spend a whole chapter discussing this dilemma. There are four key things that can help determine when a kid should play travel ball. The importance of each factor is a little different for each family based on their particular situation.
1. The child’s interest level, not just the parents interest.
2. The coach they would play for – good caoches are priceless for a players life and sport development.
3. The player’s skill level – putting a player in a level they are not ready for is the quickest way to have them want to discontinue playing.
4. Time commitment – meeting the demands of much more playing can be tough to balance while having kids stay involved in other activities, including non-sport related ones.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

The Travel Ball Conundrum

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4. Preparing for Next Season Image via Wikipedia Now is a good time to...
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I often encounter kids that play baseball because their parents want them to. I can tell their heart is not in it and are only playing to please their parent. This is unfortunate at times, especially when the parent gets upset with the childs attitude. The problem is that parents may have waited too long to help the child develop a serious interest in that activity.
There is a reason children of professional and Olympic athletes follow in their parents footsteps. Kids of pro athletes grow up around the fields and locker rooms of theit sports playing parents. The point is that it is the personal experiences of being there that develops a love for the sport. It didn’t come from the kids watching the sport on TV or from playing the video game of the sport.

     You never know for sure when a kid develops a love for something but it can be sparked by a very simple event. I believe I can trace my son’s  love of baseball to age 3, when he hopped in a battting cage at my sports academy and was able to hit the ball from the pitching machine.
     Parents that want their kids to develop a love for a particular sport should attend games of that sport with their child from a young age. Seeing and feeling the electric and fun atmosphere of physically being at the games as often as possible may create the spark that develops the love of sport in the child. Of course, this does not have to be a professional game, but even a high school, college or sibling game of the sport. You never know when the spark will develop in your child and it cannot be forced on them later in life.

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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Love of Sport

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
2. Creating Enthusiasm in Athletes Image by Getty Images via Daylife A great way...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...
4. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
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It is very common for kids to dislike their coach for what ever reasons. Sometimes kids have a legitimate gripe but parents should not allow kids to trash talk their coach. Kids should be brought up to respect other adults as long as those coaches are not abusive in any way. It is important that parents inform kids that their coach is volunteering their time and have good intentions, even if the coach is not great at communicating or when the coach is short of knowledge of the sport. When kids get bad coaches, parents should use the situation as a good teaching moment and look for any possible alternatives for their kids, but still should not let their kids bad-mouth their coach. Of course, this does not mean that parents should not listen to their kids concerns and help their kids get through the season as smoothly as possible. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Don’t Allow Coach Trashing

Positive parenting posts:

1. Developing Coachable Players Image by Getty Images via Daylife Often when working with...
2. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of Day Image by Getty Images via Daylife How to help...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy   Sports Coaching Philosophy Coaching Philosophy     It is important...
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Coachable Players

Often when working with athletes I will sense a reluctance in some to try what I suggest. They may even blurt out, “My dad told me to do it another way,” or “My coach told me to do this” or even “My friend says this works for him.” I usually respond with “Give this way a try and we will find what works best.” Along the same lines, parents often ask what I recommend when two different coaches are teaching two different things. I tell them to tell their son or daughter that, ”Everything is worth a try so try what each coach suggests and go with what works. Have your child nod in agreement even if they know it is different from what another coach is teaching.” The point of this post is that athletes should not get in the habit of not listening to or trying what each coach suggests. That would be a great way of getting on the bad side of a coach and/or getting labeled as an uncoachable player. Coaches like to think they have the answers and that they know more than the player’s parents.  If players act like the coach is not correct, it definitely gives coaches a bad impression of that player. This often leads to bad consequences for these players resulting in a) the coach proceeds to ignore the player from then on b) it affects the player’s playing time c) the player gets cut from the team or doesn’t make the team. This situation is a great teaching moment for parents and gives your son or daughter the best chance of keeping a “coachable player” reputation, which is important for players looking to advance into high school baseball or beyond.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Developing Coachable Players

Positive parenting posts:

1. Sports Parenting Tips – Developing a Good Work Ethic Image by charissa1066 via Flickr     I have received...
2. Parenting Practice for Sports Parents Image by bowbrick via Flickr Good article at http://www.zikkir.com/index/109247 -...
3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
4. I Believe in You & I Will Be Pulling for You – Positive Coaching Image by Development Works Photos via Flickr Having taught...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...

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Practicing Together - Priceless

Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for “being there” for their kids:
1. Find an safe area around house where kids can practice their favorite sport.
2. Practice with them when they ask – find the time.
3. Make it fun – set up little contests, tournaments if possible.
4. Point out fundamentals in a positive manner but do not dwell on them.
5. Film child and watch it sometime – put up on big screen if can – kids love watching themselves. Evaluate fundamentals only if child wants you to and you have expertise to do so.
6. Watch inspirational sports movies occasionally with kids.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image via Wikipedia Fun Sports Practice Ideas Sometimes the...
2. Love of Sport Image via Wikipedia I often encounter kids that play...
3. Making Sports Fun by Jack Perconte Image via Wikipedia Parents often become concerned because their...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L Love of the Game – Love is the first...
5. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – P Patience & Perspective Now we are talking – there are...

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by Former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte
    I have read where the word “You” is the most empowering word in the English language and the best word to use to inspire someone. “You can do it,” “You are the best” and “I believe in you”  are great examples of support to youth. However, it is very easy to use the “you” word  negatively like, “You will never be any good doing it like that,” “You have to practice, more” and “You embarrass me” and so on. Used in this manner the you word becomes a drag on kids desire to play sports.
    My favorite word when it comes to working with athletes is “We.” “Don’t worry about it, we will figure it out,” “We will work on it” and “We can do better next time” are positive statements to kids, giving them the understanding that you and your kids are in it together. Saying things with we is much more comforting and inspiring to young athletes.  Parents who use “we” when addressing their kids may see a positive change in their kids practice habits and sports performance.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

My Favorite Positive Parenting Word?

Positive parenting posts:

1. One Word Never to Use with Young Athletes – Keys to Successful Parenting Image by thejesse via Flickr Previously, I had written...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – New Year’s Resolutions Following are a few new year’s resolutions for parents for...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M   Motivation – The first word that comes to mind...
5. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...

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Holiday Gift Idea

Many parts of our nation will be experiencing some cold weather months ahead. This doesn’t mean that athletes should stop their training for the spring and summer sports. The off season is a great time to “condition the mind” as well as the body. For those looking for some stocking stuffers at the Holiday time, the gift of a sports instruction book or video can be very beneficial. Knowledge is often followed by confidence, so athletes can improve there game by wathcing or reading instructional tools. Additionally, there are many sports’ inpirational movies available which can help players become inspired for next season. Watching an inspirational movie is a great way to spend a cold, wintery night.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Holiday Gift Ideas from Jack Perconte

Positive parenting posts:

1. Positive Parenting Lessons at Holiday Time It would be great if parents could afford to buy...
2. Positive Parenting Podcast with Jack Perconte Had a great time talking sports with Joe Magennis –...
3. Making Sports Fun by Jack Perconte Image via Wikipedia Parents often become concerned because their...
4. Raising an Athlete – Book Excerpt      Another common concern parents have is that their child...
5. Positive Sports Tip of the Day Image by chemisti via Flickr 4 Things to Try...

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Positive Parenting Lessons at Holiday Time

Positive parenting posts:

1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – Y Youth  – Things are getting tough down here at the...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R Resiliency – Another one of my favorite words with regards...
3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
4. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
5. Positive Parenting (Coaching) Tip of the Day Image by ArkansasSportsPhotography.com via Flickr Many parents don’t realize...

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Raising an Athlete

Had a great time talking sports with Joe Magennis – he is doing neat things over at his website. Check it out at:
http://baseballisms.com/podcast-author-jack-perconte.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Positive Parenting Podcast with Jack Perconte

Positive parenting posts:

1. Holiday Gift Ideas from Jack Perconte Many parts of our nation will be experiencing some cold...
2. Game Changer for Parents Image via Wikipedia     I read about a...
3. Training for Fun – Great Blog for Moms Image by Axel Bührmann via Flickr I have been...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
5. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...

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Parenitng Advice

Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Where the Wild Things Are In Sports

Positive parenting posts:

1. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...
2. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
3. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
5. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...

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Youth Sports Coaching

Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

“Star Treatment”

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
3. Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern...
4. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
5. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...

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Sports Coaching Tips

Jack’s recent article for the Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California Newspaper Online
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/making-outs-and-i-am-not-talki.html

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Excuses,Excuses – Parenting Advice

Positive parenting posts:

1. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...
2. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
3. It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice From Jack’s blog at the Press Enterprise – Southern California...
4. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
5. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...

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A little info on my hilariously funny friend Jimmy Scott:
I don’t want to publicly state that I’m one of the best right-handed pitchers of all-time.  I’ll just think that.  Instead, I’ll state in a public forum that my 330 wins, 4000+ strikeouts, 2 no-hitters and 3 championship rings put me in elite company.  The top of my resume says A Great One.  I think that’s a proper heading, don’t you? Read more at http://www.jimmyscottshighandtight.com/

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

A Must Read – So Funny – Sports Coaching

Positive parenting posts:

1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
3. 5 Keys to Success in Sports Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best...
4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy...
5. My Favorite Positive Parenting Word? Image via Wikipedia by Former Major Leaguer Jack Perconte...

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Parenting Advice

The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure they inevitably place on their kids:
A. Don’t let your child feel like your day revolves around their game and their play that day, even though it may be the highlight of your day.
B. Do not press them for details immediately after a game unless the player offers it. General questions like how they and the team played and did they have fun are OK, though.
C. At a later time, after dinner or the next day, give a positive before commenting on a player’s action and before offering advice. For example, saying “I liked the way you concentrated, next time you might want to try this in that situation.”
D. Parents should base their evaluations on a player’s effort level and not results. After all, athletes cannot always control winning and results, only their preparation and effort. My definition for success is how close to 100% did an athlete give and not how many points they scored.
E. Do not offer rewards (i.e. ice cream stop, money, etc.) if the child plays well.
F. Remain positive and encouraging – success often comes to players who have supportive, patient and understanding parents.
G. Explain the situation when you do show some frustration over your child’s performance. Apologizing after showing frustration – “I’m sorry, but I want you to do well, that’s part of what parents do” – or something to that effect is good positive parenting. After all, parents are not perfect and this will express that to your kids.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting

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Sports Coaching Tips

Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout sports. Burnout occurs when playing the game just stops being fun anymore. The causes of burnout generally occur in three ways – over-playing, over-sporting and over-expecting. Kids are often heading for burnout when one or more of these situations occur: 1. When they play one particular sport too often or too long in a year
2. When they get to playing too many sports at the same time
3. When their own or others’ expectations of their performance becomes over-bearing
Parents and players should do their best to avoid any of these three situations from occurring.

Additionally, parents can go a long way towards keeping the fun in the game for young athletes with these three things:
1. Attention – Showing support and enthusiasm for their kids’ efforts is priceless.
2. Approval – Recognizing improvement is inspiration to youth
3. Knowledge - Providing the “know how” builds confidence.
Much more about recognizing and dealing with burnout can be found in Jack’s book Raising an Athlete - How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice

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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – R

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Youth Sports Coaching

Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that obviously goes beyond sports. In my book, Raising an Athlete, I go into detail talking about comparing confidence and optimism and how to build optimistic kids. Confidence is not something that can be given to someone but is attained by good performance and/or good work ethic. Confidence comes and goes based on ones most recent performance. Some athletes are naturally confident and others are not but both can be successful. Optimism is different and is something that can be given to athletes. Good coaches and parents are constantly looking at the bright side of things and display and state this optimistic attitude to young players. Developing optimistic athletes is essential and this development will often carry over beyond the playing fields into their everyday life. Kids who lack confidence  may still succeed but kids who are not optimistic rarely, if ever, succeeed. Sports is a great avenue for parents to teach life lessons because of the inevitable disappointments that all athletes experience at times. Creating optimistic people should be one of the goals of effective parenting in sports.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O

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Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – L

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Hope – This is one of my favorite concepts that is so important in youth sports. It is so important because it is something concrete that parents and coaches can give kids that can make all the difference. You see, another person cannot give a player confidence for that is something they must attain on their own.  But, hope is something that can be given to athletes. Remaining positive with athletes when they struggle and providing helpful fundamental knowledge at the appropriate time gives players hope that they can do better the next time. As long as a player has hope, they usually will want to keep playing and look forward to practice and playing games. Positive words of encouragement before and after games are of course helpful, but  the most helpful advice is generally some solid fundamental tip that will make the player realize that they can perform well if they do the fundamentals correctly. A player feels hopeful when it is their fundamentals that need improving as opposed to thinking that it is “in their head” as to the reason they are not playing well. Do not overwhelm players with instruction but give hope whenever possible with a little tip.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – H

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Effective Parenting Tips

   Effort & Expectations - The first two words that come to mind when I think of the letter E when it comes to sports are effort and expectations. They actually go hand and hand. The thing that parents can “expect” from kids performance on the athletic field is “effort.” Expecting kid’s to give as close to 100% effort as often as possible is not unreasonable parenting nor is it creating unreasonable expectations for their son or daughter. Expecting them to be the best on the team, getting a college scholarship, going pro or becoming a star in that particular sport are examples of unreasonable espectations, but expecting a good effort is OK and good, I believe. Stating this expectation at an early age in all endeavors that kids partake in is necessary. We will discuss many ways of doing this with future posts and is dealt with a great deal in my book, Raising an Athlete – How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills & Inspire a Love of Sport.                                                  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – E

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Attention – Getting the attention of players can be difiicult. Their attention span is often short and when they are around teammates and friends it tends to be even shorter. A couple of techniques I use to help this situation was to allow players time to warm up and socialize with their teammates before giving a talk on what you wanted to accomplish at the practice session, instead of trying to get them to listen immediately at the start of practice. Secondly, I would ask questions about what I was teaching. I was often amazed at which kids were paying attention and which ones were not. Often, the ones paying attention were not the players who were looking directly at you. That is why a short question and answer session was useful. If players know they may be called upon to answer a question, they had a tendency to pay more attention.

 Believability – Parents and coaches must have some experience with what they are teaching youth if they expect players to listen and try what they suggest. If parents don’t know the “why” and have previous “experience” of doing something a certain way, then kids will have a hard time wanting to do it their way. When parents do not have that expertise they should research it (read books, watch video, ask other coaches) or have an experienced coach work with their child. Otherwise, kids will tune the parent out or tell them to be quiet when they play and practice, especially when a kid reaches a higher level of ball, or just an older age. Reaffirming in a positive manner at the appropriate time what the player’s coaches are teaching is good, though. Future posts will discuss things like “positive manner” and “appropriate time.”

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – A & B

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