Keeping Sports in Perspective

“How you do and who you are, are two different things,” is another one of the lines I often say to my kids and students. When parents and coaches put so much stock in their kids sports performance kids may begin to feel like their identity is defined only by the sport. Judging a players effort is the key and not their results along with being able to “let bad games go” so kids don’t dwell on rough games too long.

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Positive Sports Tip of the Day

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Image via Wikipedia

Positive Role Model
Now I know why my mom always told me to smile when I was on a sports playing field. When Armando Gallaraga made that great  smile after losing his perfect game to a bad umpire call, his smile (instead of the usual player tirade in that type situation) was one of the greatest displays of sportsmanship I have ever seen. Ultimately, it is only a game and that smile was brilliant and a great lesson that I hope parents passed on to youth athletes. Now there is a positive role model.

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Sportsmanship
Part of learning to be a good sport is learning to be accepting of other players’ inadequacies. It is very common for better players to get upset when their teammates make mistakes. Getting upset is natural but displaying this unhappiness should never be allowed by sport parents and coaches. Good positive coaches watch for player’s reactions and should be on the lookout for situations where other players “show up” a teammate after a bad play. Additionally, parents in the stands are sometimes guilty of doing the same thing and this should also not be allowed. Good positive coaches should address this situation in a diplomatic way with players and parents when this negative situation occurs.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

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Parenting Perspective
Talking with a parent of one of my students recently when he says, “I know my kids aren’t going to be pro players but I just want to keep them out of trouble.” That is true for 99% of young athletes – they are not going to be pro athletes – but there are so many great things that youth sports can provide kids  - camaraderie, teamwork, sportsmanship, work ethic – just to name a very few things. And maybe most important – playing sports can occupy kids time, which is no small matter in this day and age. So many other influences can occur when kids have too much time on their hands. 

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Parents and coaches often tell kids to go out there and prove yourself or to prove to the coach that you should be playing more, etc… These statements can be used as good motivators from time to time but often they set players up for greater disappointment when they do not have good games. It is always better to tell kids to go out there with the idea of “improving,” instead of trying to prove something.

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Burnout
There are many signs of athletic burnout that parents should watch for when raising an athlete. Burnout usually occurs from one of three things. 1. Over-play – too much of one sport, games and practice combined. 2. Over-sport – trying to play too many sports at one time. 3. Over-expecting – when expectations are too high, either from others or self, players can become burned out trying to reach the unreachable. Signs to watch for – easily angered player, inattentive player, non-respectful player, very unmotivated – and these are occurring when the player never showed these tendencies before.

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Parents should not underestimate the influence that their child’s coach have on them There is no better motivator for a youth athlete than playing for a coach who is caring, inspiring and knowledgeable. Finding this type coach at the youth level can be difficult too and is often just the luck of the draw in leagues where players are picked in a draft type situation. As players move up the sports ladder though, parents can look for these type coaches at the travel and high school levels. Finding theses coaches can be well worth the effort though, even if that means moving to a better school, because a great coach can be a positive influence for the rest of their kids lives.

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What to Say During Games
I see it happen all the time – a kid goes up to bat and his coach starts yelling to do this (“swing level,” i.e.) and the player’s parents are saying to do that (“keep your hands up,” i.e.) and then the hitter lets pitches go by that are right down the middle.  The coach and parents both sigh with disbelief thinking “why didn’t he swing at that.” Little do they realize that the batter didn’t swing because he was thinking about how he was going to keep his hands up and swing level. The point is that giving mechanical instructions during games takes concentration away from what is important, timing the ball in this instance. Coaches and parents should just give words of encouragement during games and leave the mechanical tips for practice. This gives players the chance to give their ultimate concentration to the things that are important to succeed. When success doesn’t come, it’s back to the drawing board (practice) for the mechanical adjustments.

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Rewards for Winning
I am not a fan of rewarding teams or individuals when they win or play well. Adults often do this by promising to go to a certain restaurant or buy the players a certain something when they win or perform well.  It often seemed like kids ended up playing more for the reward and not for the fun of the game and for winning itself. It also set the players up for more disappointment when they did not perform well and put parents in a bad spot of denying things to kids. However, I do like the practice of rewarding playerss with a little reward for a great effort level, win or lose.

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Image by mag3737 via Flickr

I remember reading this saying somewhere and have never forgotten it, “Scoreboard begins with letter S, but so does Sportsmanship.” The point is that who wins and loses is somewhat important but the feelings associated with them goes away quickly. The feeling one gets when applying good sportsmanship is a way of life and never goes away.

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The Power of Breathing to Eliminate Sports Pressure
I hear this comment all the time, “He/she can do it in practice, but not in games.” A very common and very frustrating occurrence, of course, for both players and parents. Most of the time, this happens because players’ fundamentals are not that sound but it may be that players are feeling increased sports pressure in games. With this in mind, coaches should teach kids to take a deep breath like in a doctors office before a pitch. They don’t have to make it real obvious to everyone around but taking this deep breath can help a player relax and focus, which eliminates excess sports pressure.

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How to help a youth sports coach?
Maybe the biggest complaint in youth sports is, “The coach stinks.” Maybe the complaint has merit, maybe not. If parents believe that is the truth, they should do something about it. After all, what is more important? Having your child go through a miserable season or doing something to help the situation. Talking to the coach probably will not make the situation better. So, a self serving suggestion I know, but, what about buying a book like “Raising an Athlete: How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport” and give it to the coach. If you feel uncomfortable giving it to the coach, do it anonymously. A book like this will help any youth sports coach to learn to treat kids better and inspire the coach to learn the particular sport better too.

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Many parents don’t realize that they are exerting excessive parental pressure on their sports playing kids. If parents notice the following happening often they should learn to back off some. 1. When analyzing their child’s play to others the young player always disagrees with the analysis. 2. When a child is playing or practicing, they are constantly looking to their parent for approval and/or for instruction. Parents should allow and insist that their kid pays attention to their coach during practice and games.

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Remember, it is OK, in my opinion, to miss your kids games occasionally
Somewhere, over the years, the opinion has been created that one is a bad parent if when they don’t attend their child’s games. Feeling this way may put too much emphasis on the child’s sports career to the point where the sport becomes “everything” to every one. This doesn’t mean parents should not show interest in their games with post-game questions but it is not necessary to be at every game.

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Remember, doing something right and doing something almost right is the difference between athletic success and failure. Parents should keep this in mind when they can’t figure out why their kids are atruggling to have success in sports. Skill development in every sport requires correct fundamentals repeated continually in practice so that the skill happens automatically in the game. Practicing a skill almost correctly but not totally correct will lead to game failure in time. Having a players skills reviewed by a professional and practicing the suggested tips will almost always be beneficial for a players future.  

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* “Everyone has the will to win – the winners are those that have the will to prepare to win” is one of  my favorite quotes I have come across. This point cannot be emphasized enough to kids who often expect success because they show up and play the games. Sports success doesn’t come that easy where there is almost always a winner and loser. Letting kids know that they (players) will feel satisfied, win or lose, only after they have prepared to the degree they are comfortable with is important positive coaching advice. This degree varies of course for each individual player – some are satisfied doing a little where others are satisfied only if they prepare a great deal. Parents should recognize that kids are different and not expect more than what their child is willing to give. This is not to say that parents should not emphasize that they(kids) will be most satisfied when they put in their best effort.

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Encouraging athletes to work hard and expressing how much you (parents) appreciate it when they do work hard is important. Not every athlete can be successful but letting kids know that they are winners because of their high degree of effort is what’s important. Reminding athletes that they can not always control the outcome but they can control their amount of effort and preparation is the key. What athletes usually figure out is that the increased effort usually helps determine success and as we all know positive outcomes make playing more fun.

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Parents should encourage their kids to be leaders out on the field or on the sidelines. Letting kids know that they do not have to be star players to be team leaders is important. Players can always contribute with their enthusiasm and with “being there” for their struggling teammates.

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Developing sel-esteem in youth is crucial to there development and sports is a great medium to be able to do this. Good coaches know how to do this by using the following actions:
1. Good coaches recognize the different personalities of each player and encourage each player to be themselves – trying to get players to be like someone else or to act differently is not usually good. Though, this is not to mean that coaches should not encourage all players to give as close to %100 as possible.
2. Good coaches look for ways those players can use their personal gifts to help the team beyond just the playing aspect. For example, players who have a good sense of humor should be encouraged to use that trait to keep the team (and coaches) loose.
3. Good coaches mention positive contributions to player’s parents when possible. Nothing encourages a kid more than feeling like they have made their parents proud.

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Having taught youth for a great number of years, I have encountered a great number of skill levels in kids. A few of my students have gone on to play major league baseball and many were cut from their team. No matter their skill level, there is one sentiment that I try to leave with them – “I believe in you and I will be pulling for you.” That is one of the most important things that adults, and mainly parents, should say to their kids when they go out to play sports. Is it giving false optimism? No, because that doesn’t change my wanting to let them know that, win or lose, you are on their side. When they don’t play well – it is easy to follow up with, “Hey, it wasn’t your day” or “I know you will get them the next time” or ”Hang in there, you did your best.” This intimates to them that you still believe in them even if they failed.  Their self esteem is still enhanced even when they get cut from the team.  

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Over the years, one of the most trying situations I encounter as a youth coach is dealing with the “Know it All Player.” More often than not this player tends to be a young teenager who is not afraid to be bold and let me know  that his way is better than my way. It doesn’t seem to matter that I played major league baseball or that I have been teaching the game for over 20 years, this “know it all” player believes one of three things: 1. He is performing the skill correctly even if I see he isn’t 2. His way is better and how dare I try to tell him otherwise or 3. Simply, I don’t know what I am talking about.
    What can a coach do in this situation? What I have done is detach emotionally – what this means is that I have found it does not help to yell, plead or try to convince this player otherwise but that doesn’t mean that I stop teaching. In my matter of fact voice I continue to teach what I know is correct in a very unemotional manner. This tells the player that I haven’t given up on him, which would be the normal inclination, but also that I am not investing all my energy in someone that wants to think they “know it all.”
    Sometimes, I am amazed that over time, this player begins to come around and begins to listen and try some of my suggestions.

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A few posts back I wrote about always being on the lookout for little inspirational quotes to have ready to say to athletes. Words are great but not as good as actions, of course. With that in mind, here are the three key ways to motivate athletes:

1. Attention – showing legitimate interest in activities that kids are involved with provides inspiration. Attending games, asking questions, practicing with, showing enthusiasm and providing financial support are all means of showing kids that you are interested in the same things that they are.
2.  Approval – positive words, well timed smiles, recognizing little improvements and effort help kids feel like a success and are inspiring.

      3.  Knowledge – providing players with fundamental knowledge and strategic know-how inspires confidence in athletes.

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     I work with baseball and softball palyers all the time because that is what I do for a living. Inevitably, when I begin talking to a group of players, many of them will immediately look elsewhere than at me. Is that a little annoying? Yes, but the thing is I’ve realized that it does not mean that the players who look away are the ones who are not paying attention. Some kids listen better when they are not looking at the speaker. So, I have learned to live with the fact that some kids will not be looking at me when giving a talk. What I have also learned to do is to ask questions after talking to see who is listening and to reinforce the spoken material.
    The problem is that not looking at the speaker is considered a sign of disrespect by many coaches. Players who are not looking at the coach, even if they are listening, are at a disadvantage for making the team or for being on the good side of the coach. WIth that in mind, parents should encourage kids to look at the coach when they are speaking as often as possible so they have equal opportunuties as the players who are looking at the coach. Of course, all players should be encouraged to listen and try the things that coaches suggest. 

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A great way to develop enthusiam and love for a sport is to go to upper level games in that sport. This may seem obvious but the trick is to follow it up with some action. Going to professional games is great and creates enthusiasm, but it may not create a love for the sport. Love develops when kids have the opportunity to try what they observe. That is why I endorse taking kids to local high school and college games where they can feel the excitement of the experience but at the same time be able to take out some equipment and play that sport after watching for a period. There is often some room where parents and kids can go, adjacent to the fields, where they can play awhile. The ability to follow up the viewing with some play creates a deeper feeling in the young athlete for that sport.

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If you are a coach or parent and are not reading blogs and articles at sites like this one http://baseballparentguide.blogspot.com/2009/12/too-much-emphasis-on-winning-not.html then you are not maximizing your potential as a sports parent and/or youth coach. I agree with this article completely and would like to add something to it. Simply put –  leagues, schools and organizations need to have better training for their coaches. There is the age-old complaint that coaches are just out to win and don’t work enough on player development. That is true, but the reason it is true is that most youth coaches do not have the training to observe players to see if players are perfroming the fundamentals correctly. Just because a parent played the sport in their day, does not give them the power of observation to know if players are doing something correctly. I played major league baseball before teaching baseball for 21 years. Just playing did not make me a good coach. It took many hours of study and observation. Because most youth coaches do not have this experience does not make them  bad coaches, they just are not rained enough. The one thing they can fall back on without this observation abilility is to put all their effort in trying to win. This is unfortunate, but without better trained coaches, the situation will not change. Once again, coaches will just fall back on the only thing they know – trying to win. Leagues should put more emphasis on their coaches training – one preseason coaches clinic is not sufficient. 

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Youth Coaches Training

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Parents often become concerned because their kids come home from practice and don’t appear very enthusiastic. “It was so boring,” is a common response. What to do? Good coaches know what to do – everything in sports require players learning how to do things quicker and faster. With this in mind, good coaches turn their practice drills into competitions for kids. I just finished up a baseball camp – after the first day of camp or at the start of practice the next day, kids would ask me if we could do a certain competition that we had done before. Coach can we do the “such and such” drill? That is a good feeling for a coach when athletes become enthused about doing certain drills or having competetive contests. Coaches should always have a watch or stopwatch available so they can turn any drill into a competition – for example, most throws completed in one minute or most free throws made in two minutes are examples.
    Coaches should teach correct fundamentals and then make things more exciting for kids by adding contests and competitions – athletes love to compete.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

Making Sports Fun by Jack Perconte

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Keys to Success

Following are parenting tips to help bring out the best in athletes and to guarantee athletic success.
1. Begin working on skills at least 6 weeks before the start of practice and gradually increase the work load each week leading up to the season.
2. Begin teaching basic fundamentals at a young age without being overbearing with instruction, of course.
3. Use good training aids when affordable and available. For example, using and stressing the use of a batting tee to hitters of every age can make all the difference.
4. Learn as many quality drills as possible and perform them correctly, especially drills that address the player’s biggest faults. When a drill is good it will force a player to do a skill more efficiently.
5. Use practice time like a golfer uses the driving range – before games for getting loose and for developing grooved actions and after games for making adjustments.

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5 Keys to Success in Sports

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1. Making Sports Fun by Jack Perconte Image via Wikipedia Parents often become concerned because their...
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Sports Coaching Philosophy

Coaching Philosophy

    It is important for coaches at all levels to have a philosophy of coaching. Of course, this philosophy should be arrived at based on the age of athletes and the competitive level of the league the athletes are playing in. For example, travel leagues tend to be more competitive so this should be taken into account when coaches are drawing up their philosophy. Three main objectives of playing sports revolve around winning, player development and fun. Coaches need to decide how much emphasis they are going to spend on these, once again, based on the age and competitive nature of the league and playing level. It is important to note that having fun should be an objective for all, but many coaches do not know how to make things fun. This does not make them bad coaches, as long as they teach the game to all players in a respectful manner.
    Coaches should write this philosophy down before the season and share it with team members and tem parents. This will help keep everyone on the same page and help keep the coach accountable to this philospohy as the season progresses.
   With younger athletes, most of the emphasis should be placed on player development. Coaches can still play to win but they should not dwell on winning or losing with these players. This is best done by keeping the same demeanor after wins and losses, and by not mentioning the importance of winning to the team. Coaches of young athletes should spend a great deal of time with developing individual skills and teaching basic game strategy.
    As kids age level increases, coaches expect a certain level of expertise from players and can start to emphasize the importance of winning more. This “winning attitude” should not be an obsession, but treated as a reward for coaches and athletes. This reward of winning creates good feeling with all because it shows that players executed better than the opposition and that the coach better prepared their team for competition.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Coaching Philosophy

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Sports Coaching Tips

     Another common concern parents have is that their child has no confidence. Often, they would ask me to help build up their child’s confidence. Of course, I would work on that because that is what good coaches do. Of more importance, I felt, was to make sure the young players had an overall optimistic outlook. Confidence is great, optimism is even better. Just like people in general, some athletes are naturally confident whereas others have no confidence. Players also have different confidence levels, ranging from very confident to somewhat confident. Usually, the higher the confidence levels of the athlete the better chance of a good performance. Confidence helps but it does not guarantee good results.

     Likewise, some players have an optimistic outlook and others are pessimistic. Optimistic players would say, “My fault, but I’ll get them next time,” while pessimistic players would say things like “I’m no good,” or “the umpire screwed me.” I was an example of a player who played and succeeded without much confidence, yet always had an optimistic feeling about where I was headed in my career. Players can succeed and progress without high levels of confidence, but I have never known a successful player who did not have an optimistic outlook.

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Raising an Athlete – Book Excerpt

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Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California Newpaper
http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/09/not-so-harmless.html

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Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching

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4. “Star Treatment” Jack’s Article for Press Enterprise – Southern Californiahttp://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/10/be-careful-of-the-star-treatme.html Post...
5. Where the Wild Things Are In Sports Jack’s recent article for Press Enterprise blog http://blogs.pe.com/moms/2009/11/where-the-wild-things-are-in-s.html Post...

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Sports Coaching Tips

Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout sports. Burnout occurs when playing the game just stops being fun anymore. The causes of burnout generally occur in three ways – over-playing, over-sporting and over-expecting. Kids are often heading for burnout when one or more of these situations occur: 1. When they play one particular sport too often or too long in a year
2. When they get to playing too many sports at the same time
3. When their own or others’ expectations of their performance becomes over-bearing
Parents and players should do their best to avoid any of these three situations from occurring.

Additionally, parents can go a long way towards keeping the fun in the game for young athletes with these three things:
1. Attention – Showing support and enthusiasm for their kids’ efforts is priceless.
2. Approval – Recognizing improvement is inspiration to youth
3. Knowledge - Providing the “know how” builds confidence.
Much more about recognizing and dealing with burnout can be found in Jack’s book Raising an Athlete - How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice

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It’s All About “Perspective” – Parenting Advice

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2. Negative Gestures Hurt as Much as Negative Words – Sports Coaching Reprint from Jack’s Press Enterprise Blog – Southern California...
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Sports Coaching

Xample – OK, I know I am cheating a little on this one but I want to keep the streak going. Everyone knows how important it is for coaches and parents to lead by example.  Just as important, especially as players reach the high school level, is that players learn to also lead by example. Not all players can lead by example but the best case scenario for a team and coach is when the better players on a team show the best hustle, a good work ethic and a desire to help the team. When the better players have this “team” attitude and selfless attitude, this example spurs all team members to follow their lead. Good coaches will look for players who have this ability to lead by example and will encourage them to continue and recognize these players at the appropriate time. Players who lead by example are respected by their teammates and are a credit to their school, team and city.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – X

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4. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I...
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Parenting Advice

Winning – The first word that comes to mind when thinking of words that begin with W and sports is winning. It is often debated whether coaches of youth should play to win. I believe it is OK to play to win, even at ages as young as 8 years old. Does that mean allot of emphasis should be put on winning? Of course not, but playing to win is a good message for kids to understand. When coaches do not play to win they give the meassage that mediocrity is acceptable.
For kids under the agea of 12, I don’t believe any more than a 33% emphasis should be put on winning though, with much of a coach’s goal being to develop player’s skills and kids having fun. As long as these two latter points are emphasiszed there is nothing wron with playing to win, showing kids that they should strive for perfection and success.
How coaches deal with winning and losing is very important and hopefully it is in a positive, educational and gracious manner. Teaching kids how to deal with winning and losing are valuable lessons that kids need to learn and good coaches and parents are there to provide this instruction.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – W

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Parenting Advice

Variety,Victory,Voice,View -

There is no one word that sticks out when thinking of the letter V so I will mention some thoughts that apply to some V words that apply to sports.
 Variety – It is important that coaches and parents provide a variety of options to their kids at younger ages so that one

activity does not get boring or seem too important. Creating a love of sport and and fun in sports is dependent on a wide variety of teaching methods. As kids age, they will begin to sort out which activities they enjoy the most.
Victory – Another word for winning, and how coaches and parents deal with winning and losing is vital for kids devlopment in not only sports but life also. teaching kids how to accept defeat and at the same time how to be gracious victors is important.
Voice – The tenor of the voice that parents use when talking to their kids determines their kids attitude toward an activity. Teaching sports with a unemotional voice is vital so that excess pressure is not exerted on thier kids. Learning to teach with a matter of fact voice is good and not a pleading voice is the key.
View – This was talked about when discussing perspective but being able to view a players career with perspective (as from a distant view) allows parents to make good decisions for their kids.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – V

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Sports Coaching

Understanding - ”I understand that just because a skill is easy for me or appears easy from the sidelines, does not mean it is easy for everyone.” ” I play to win, with the understanding that player development and fun are of equal importance.” “I do my best to understand each player’s personality so I can determine how to make them feel good about themselves and their play.”

These are some quotes from my latest book and show the importance of the word beginning with the letter U.
In “Rasing an Athlete” I have a coach’s quiz to see where coaches rank on a effective coaching scale. There are 50 questions asked with some valued higher than others. The intent is not really to evaluate coaches but to give people an understanding of how many ingredients go into making a great coach. Parents of athletes should not expect their volunteer coaches to rank super high on the quiz because they don’t have the experience, training and time to devote to being a great coach. Most great coaches are found at the collegiate and pro levels, with some at the high school level and even fewer at the youth level. However, this is not to say that there are not some very good youth level coaches because there are. Also, the good news is that coaches can and do improve over time with this often being a trial and error process to bring out the best in young players.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports Coaching – U

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2. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
3. Positive Parenting in Sports – When to Volunteer There are a number of considerations adults should take into...
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Coaching Youth Sports

Trust -

The obvious word that comes to the sports mind with the letter T is Talent. Talent is a combination of God-given athleticism and some develped skills and generally manifests itself at a young age in kids. The word that I want to talk about is trust because this is an extrememly important concept when parents and coaches work with athletes. Trust is something that people earn over time and is vital in keeping a good coach/student relationship. It is especially difficult to work with one’s own child and developing extreme patience is necessary. Following are some things to additionally consider in developing an athletes trust in you, the coach.

* Study up or be quiet – kids generally can recognize when someone does not know what they are talking about. This recognition is easy for kids when their coach tells them to to something one way and their parent tells them something different. Have the evidence on your side by doing some reseach if needed and don’t demonstrate something if you are not very good at it. It is hard to trust someone that looks awkward doing it themselves.

* Give kids a little time to fail before correcting them. When someone expects perfection too soon they will get defensive and may want to quit practicing.

* Say a positive before a negative – “I liked the way you did that, next time try this also,” for example.

*Address the action as much as possible – that swing, throw catch,kick – instead of “you” did this wrong.

* The tenor of the voice used is the key – saying things in an informative, non-emotional voice will go along way to gain trust as opposed to a “listen to me or else” voice. If you notice your son or daughter gets upset when you tell them how to do something then you are probably saying things in an accusing voice.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T

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Youth Sports Coaching

Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that obviously goes beyond sports. In my book, Raising an Athlete, I go into detail talking about comparing confidence and optimism and how to build optimistic kids. Confidence is not something that can be given to someone but is attained by good performance and/or good work ethic. Confidence comes and goes based on ones most recent performance. Some athletes are naturally confident and others are not but both can be successful. Optimism is different and is something that can be given to athletes. Good coaches and parents are constantly looking at the bright side of things and display and state this optimistic attitude to young players. Developing optimistic athletes is essential and this development will often carry over beyond the playing fields into their everyday life. Kids who lack confidence  may still succeed but kids who are not optimistic rarely, if ever, succeeed. Sports is a great avenue for parents to teach life lessons because of the inevitable disappointments that all athletes experience at times. Creating optimistic people should be one of the goals of effective parenting in sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O

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Sports Coaching Tips

Negativity – First word that comes to mind when I think of the letter N is negativity. Negativity unfortunately is way too common in sports coaching today. Coaches and parents who are negative are always looking at the downside of  players performances and make it a point to express the negative to their players. This is definitely the opposite technique that should be used compared to the recommended positive parenting in sports.  It may motivate players for a short period but in the long run negativity tends to wear players and teams down. This coaching technique should not be applied with non-professional athletes and coaches who do coach with negativity should try to understand the negative effects they are having on young athletes.  Coaches and parents who are negative should try to change their style of coaching and parenting and definitely should read books like mine Raising an Athlete – How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills and Inspire a Love of Sport. Kids who feel as though they can never satisfy mom or dad or coach usually lose their desire to keep playing sports.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – N

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1. Showing Understanding – Sports Coaching Following is Jack’s article he writes for the Press Enterprise...
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3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – T   Trust - The obvious word that comes to the...
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Sports Coaching Motivation

Motivation – The first word that comes to mind with sports and the letter M is motiavation. Motivation is a lot like love because it can be developed and it can come at different stages of a child’s career. All kids are diferent  – some are naturally motivated whild others have little motivation. There is no magic formula for making an athlete more motivated. As mentioned, the good news is that it is  can be developed over time in athletes. Parents and coaches should look for opportunities to inspire their kids in sports with the hope that the motivation develops. This can be done in a number of ways with some being: Staying positive, smiling and showing them how proud you are of them when they try hard, being patient, keeping expectations realistic, telling them stories of inpirational athletes. Finally, maybe the best way to motivate an athlete is to give them the knowledge and practice habits that  give them a chance to succeed. Nothing motivates an athlete more than success.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
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3. Ways to Minimize Parental Pressure – Positive Parenting The following tips can help parents to minimize the pressure...
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Coaching Youth Sports

Justify – Not a lot of words beginning with this letter. Of course, coaches and parents should always be judicious with their teams and kids when making decisions about athletics. But one of my favorite words is justify. Most kids stop playing sports not because they get burnt out but because they cannot justify working so hard when the results are not there. This is a justifiable reason for ending their relationship with a sport and one in which a player’s parents should understand even if the parents are disappointed that their child has decided to stop playing. Kids who end playing for this reason can be proud that they gave it their all and things just didn’t work out to continue playing.

Knowledge - Simply put, knowledge creates confidence and a lack of knowledge causes insecurity and a lack of confidence. I know this first hand – because my lack of knowledge of the fundamentals of baseball I often felt out of control when playing which lead to a loss of confidence and a scared feeling, even though I made it to the major leagues. Giving players the knowledge of how to play and how to do the mechanics of sport is the number one responsibility of a coach.  Coaches are teachers of sport and they should continue to learn about the sport they coach so they can continue to provide technical and strategic knowledge of the sport so kids can play with confidence and poise.

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ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – J & K

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3. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – O Optimism – One of my favorite words and concepts that...
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Sports Coaching Book

Inspiration

-  This is an obvious word that initially comes to mind when I think of words beginning with this letter. Many parents get frustrated with their kids because they do not show much motivation to play to practice their skills. Often, motivation comes from within a players innate personality so that is hard to change with many kids. However, parents and coaches should not miss chances to inspire kids with words and actions. These words and actions may not help immediately or with that particular sport, but may help down the line with another activity in their child’s life. In my book “ Raising an Athlete” I discuss many ways of providing inspiration to kids.
Instincts - This is not as obvious a concept as inspiration but is an appropriate one when it comes to athletics. Some kids just seem to have good instincts at a particular sport and others not as much. The good new is that instincts can be developed. The biggest key to developing these is by playing actual game competition. Practice is always necessary for skill developmnet but insticts usually need game experience to develop them. When I grew up many of these instincts were developed at the local fields playing continaully in unorganized games with friends. Kids these days do not tend to play in unorganized atmospheres as often so these instincts sometimes are not developed as easily. This is where the increased degree of travel ball over the last 20 years has helped kids to develop the instincts of sport.

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ABC,s of Positive Parenting in Sports – I

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1. ABC’s of Positive Parenting – M   Motivation – The first word that comes to mind...
2. ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – Burnout – Parenting Advice   Burnout – Another common word when talking about yout...
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Coaching Youth Sports Positively

Fundamentals
    If you have been following my writings over the last few years you know that this is the concept(s) I discuss the most frequently. To me, this word contains the two most important ideas pertaining to youth sports. Youth sports is albout developing fundamentals and having fun. The two go hand and hand. It is rare for a young athlete to want to work on the fundamentals of a sport without it being fun and it is rarely fun if a player doesn’t have some success at what they are playing, which is where improved or good fundamentals come in. That leads us to the key: it is vital that athletes come in touch with knowledgeable coaches who know how to make the game fun. This may be the athletes parent, but whoever it is, this person can determine how much the player is willing to work at their skills in that sport. One good coach can develop a player’s love for the game which generally leads to their desire to work hard to reach their potential.  Finding a coach who can make the game fun at practice and in games is the key to helping kids get the most out of their talent. Putting the fun in fundamentals is what I tried to dispaly in my first book The Making of a Hitter – A Proven & Practical Step-by- Step Baseball Guide - for baseball lovers. 

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – F

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Effective Parenting Tips

   Effort & Expectations - The first two words that come to mind when I think of the letter E when it comes to sports are effort and expectations. They actually go hand and hand. The thing that parents can “expect” from kids performance on the athletic field is “effort.” Expecting kid’s to give as close to 100% effort as often as possible is not unreasonable parenting nor is it creating unreasonable expectations for their son or daughter. Expecting them to be the best on the team, getting a college scholarship, going pro or becoming a star in that particular sport are examples of unreasonable espectations, but expecting a good effort is OK and good, I believe. Stating this expectation at an early age in all endeavors that kids partake in is necessary. We will discuss many ways of doing this with future posts and is dealt with a great deal in my book, Raising an Athlete – How to Instill Confidence, Build Skills & Inspire a Love of Sport.                                                  

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – E

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Sports Coaching Help

Development

When you think of the letter D when it comes to sports, desire and determination come to mind. However, the concept that should not be left out of the “D” conversation and the one I most associate with athletics is development. Obviously, every player brings different genes and athleticism to the game. But no matter how talented or un-talented a player is, development of ones skill level and athleticism is necessary to compete over time, and to have achance at athletic success. I was always amazed at some of my students who brought very little skill and athletic ability who worked hard and become very good players. At first I felt like they might ber wasting their time and their parents money, but I undersestimated some of these non-gifted athletically players went on to play all the way through high school. They possessed the desire and determination to develop their skills and that is what they did. One of my favorite sayings is, “No player who wants to work at it (devlop) is beyond hope and beyond a parents and coach’s time.” Additionally, even players who are the most gifted must develop or they will see an end to their careers sooner than it should come to an end.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s Positive Parenting in Sports – D

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Coaching Youth Sports Positively

Confidence  – Nowhere is confidence more important than on the playing fields of sport. Without confidence, players often lose their desire to keep playing, and at the very least they tend to play scared. Some players are naturally more confident than others, but confidence can be gained over time. Gaining confidence almost always is related to success. This is where things get tricky sometimes and where parents and coaches are vital to helping young athletes with their development. How parents and coaches define success and being able to relate that definition and help kids believe the definition is the key. I tell kids the definition of success is when they give as close to 100% as possible to whatever they put their mind and physical effort to. Not every child is blessed with the same degree of athletice talent or athletic instincts, but those that make the most of what they are given are a success. With this definition ingrained in young players, you will begin to see confident players and kids no matter the statistical outcome of their games. In my book, Raising an Athlete, I devote a great deal of time giving coaches and parents the words, phrases and gestures that help develop not only confident players on the field but , more importantly, optimistic kids for their futures.

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – C

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Positive Sports Coaching

Attention – Getting the attention of players can be difiicult. Their attention span is often short and when they are around teammates and friends it tends to be even shorter. A couple of techniques I use to help this situation was to allow players time to warm up and socialize with their teammates before giving a talk on what you wanted to accomplish at the practice session, instead of trying to get them to listen immediately at the start of practice. Secondly, I would ask questions about what I was teaching. I was often amazed at which kids were paying attention and which ones were not. Often, the ones paying attention were not the players who were looking directly at you. That is why a short question and answer session was useful. If players know they may be called upon to answer a question, they had a tendency to pay more attention.

 Believability – Parents and coaches must have some experience with what they are teaching youth if they expect players to listen and try what they suggest. If parents don’t know the “why” and have previous “experience” of doing something a certain way, then kids will have a hard time wanting to do it their way. When parents do not have that expertise they should research it (read books, watch video, ask other coaches) or have an experienced coach work with their child. Otherwise, kids will tune the parent out or tell them to be quiet when they play and practice, especially when a kid reaches a higher level of ball, or just an older age. Reaffirming in a positive manner at the appropriate time what the player’s coaches are teaching is good, though. Future posts will discuss things like “positive manner” and “appropriate time.”

Post from: Positive Parenting in Sports - Raising an Athlete

ABC’s of Positive Parenting in Sports – A & B

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